More Than Friends an Alsper Fic: July 2010

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Chapter 14

*~*~*October 22nd 2005*~*~*

Today was the worst day of my life. Well, the second worst, and yet it was one of the greatest. I gave birth to my son seven weeks early... he was four pounds seven ounces and seventeen inches of lung capacity and shrieks. They didn't expect that from him. They doubted he was going to be able to breathe on his own.

And then, I signed away my rights, I gave him to his parents... the people who wanted him so badly after years of not being able to have a child of their own.

I gave up my child. Mine and Jasper's child, I let the door shut as my final visitors of the night left before I broke down into hysterical sobs. The pain of Jasper leaving me ripping through me all over again. I had nothing of his left. He left and with him, he took everything... everything but the child he gave me. And now, he was gone too.

I don't understand why and I don't think I ever will, but I found myself doing the one thing I made everyone else swear that they wouldn't do. I was picking up the hospital phone, taking the piece of paper that had his number scrawled across it and punching the numbers in.

I needed to talk to the one person who could make this okay, I needed him to make me feel better. In my moment of weakness I needed him. I put the phone up to my ear and steadied myself as I listened to the faint ringing from the receiver.

"Hello?" His voice was rather gruff, like he'd just woke up. I inhaled a little and opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He cleared his throat, "Hello?" he asked again, sounding a little annoyed.

He's probably in bed with some girl he met down there, I thought as the tears that were threatening to escape, finally did and even though I was trying very hard not to, a sob finally came from my throat.

I could hear the springs of his bed squeak as he moved. "Alice?" he whispered as if unsure of it himself.

That very minute I could no longer breathe, the pain in my chest was too much to bear, I tried to say his name, it was strangled by my sobs though and finally just hung up the phone before I laid sideways on the bed and let my sadness wash over me.

Eventually my tears stopped flowing as much as they had been and I made my way to the shower stall, climbing in and sitting on the little bench before turning the water as hot as I could stand it. I leaned my head against the wall staring into nothingness as the hole in my chest seemed to ache and reach for something that wasn't there. I was empty, nothing, worthless and spent.

I gave myself to Jasper, did anything and everything he wanted and he tossed me away like a broken toy. That is what I was, broken and a toy to him. I always knew it, but I was somehow content in this simple fact until he left. And now, I was nothing, had nothing and felt nothing. I couldn't even cry anymore.

There was a knock on the door followed by Rose's voice. "Alice?"

Rosie, I tried to say her name but my throat felt like something was stuck in it so I groaned instead.

"I'm coming in," she warned before opening the door. I didn't even move myself. "Hey you," she said, closing the door behind her.

I looked over at her through hazy eyes. "He left," I croaked.

She looked at me with sad eyes. "I thought you wanted to give Ryan away?" she said softly.

"I did, he's gonna be much happier..." I closed my eyes and realized I was wrong about not being able to cry anymore. "He's gonna have a much better life than I can give him."

"Ali... That's not..." She put the lid down on the toilet before sitting. "I'm not gonna pretend to know what you're going through, but don't sell yourself short okay?"

I shook my head, "He's better off Rosalie...this isn't about him. I'm happy that he's going to have a good life."

"Jasper," she said simply.

I felt my heart lurch in my chest at the sound of his name and cried harder, "I'm sorry Rose."

She sighed before standing up and reaching to turn the water off. She stepped into the area and wrapped a towel around me. "Don't apologize, Alice. He was an asshole to you. I understand you being devastated."

I shook my head, "I knew all along Rosie," I whispered as I stood rather mechanically and walked over to the toilet, pushing the lid up before I sat.

Rose just shook her head and turned her back, giving me some privacy. I quickly dressed myself, pulling on comfortable clothes instead of the hospital issued gown and hobbled forward. "Do you miss him?" I asked her quietly, my voice horse and broken.

She shrugged. "Just ‘cause he's my brother, doesn't mean I knew him... hard to miss him ya know?"

"I miss him," I said quietly, but she may have had a point. I think out of everyone he knew me the best...and he hurt me the worst when he left.

"You two were always closer..." she said softly.

"Why Rosalie, I just wanna know why?" I asked her miserably as I climbed back into the hospital bed. I had asked her this many times, and the answer never changed.

"I don't know Alice," she said sadly as she lifted the blanket up to put it over my legs.

I looked at my lap and found myself growing silent yet again. In the past few months I spent with Rosalie I had spilled almost everything that had happened between her brother and me. She was my biggest ally during this whole scandal. We hid it from my parents, my brother, my best friend and even Emmett until about ten hours ago. Then when I went into labor and freaked out, all our planning went to hell.

Not that Rosalie was completely willing all the time; she thought I should tell everyone, she thought I should keep Ryan; she thought I should tell her brother. I could never tell him because I knew what he would do. Jasper may have left me, but he was still a good person, if he knew I was pregnant he would come back to make an honest woman of me. I did not want to trap him.

He had spent long enough humoring me, it was time I set him free to live his own life. Maybe someday I could talk to him and find out what went wrong, but today wasn't that day.

~*~oOo~*~

A shrill cry broke me from my memories. I smiled as they put the mewling baby under the warming lamps; she was crying... or squeaking rather, so it was a good sign. I looked at Rosalie and smiled, "Payton's gonna be just fine."

Rose matched my smile. "Good..." she said with a soft laugh.

"She's beautiful Rosie, I can already tell," I smirked a little and leaned down to her ear. "All I have to say is thank God she looks like you."

Rose beamed at that. "Thanks Ali."

"You want me to go get anyone?" I asked as I looked over at Emmett who was standing by the baby.

She chewed on her lip and nodded. "My brother please?"

I nodded my head and smiled slightly before leaving the room and walking towards the waiting area where Jasper sat, his hands fisting his hair. "Nerdy Boy are you alright?" I asked as I crouched next to him.

He slowly looked up as he cleared his throat. "Is she... are they okay?"

"They're gonna be just fine," I smiled at him. There was no way to know for sure, but I had a really good feeling about it all. "What's wrong?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I just pushed her too far... I should have just let her have her say and left it at that." He said scrubbing his face with his hands, pushing his glasses up. "And you’re totally showing me your panties Ali Cat," he mumbled behind his hands.

Ohmigawd. I stood up quickly. "I'm really sorry Jasper," I whispered, very embarrassed.

He lowered his hands and gave me a half smile. "Sorry about the fight with Rose, or for the show?"

I felt my face flush, "For the show, I know you didn't want to see that."

He looked down, "Right. Sorry for embarrassing you."

I shook my head, "You didn't embarrass me, I mean you've seen more of me under the guise of scientific experiment than I've seen of me. So really..." It's not my body. I finished in my head and then internally smacked myself.

He shook his head smiling slightly. "Yeah..."

"So do you wanna see your new baby niece?" I asked him, holding my hand out.

"Yeah," he said with a nod before standing up and taking my hand in his.

~*~*~
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Thursday, July 15, 2010

Chapter 13

Disclaimer: All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

~*~*~*~*~*~

JPOV

I was just waiting for the moment where I wake up and realize everything was a dream. At least if what had happened less then four hours ago turned out to be a dream, I’d still have some chance of not being a complete dick and fucking Alice against the wall like I had.

Oh fuck who am I kidding, I would so do that again.

I just couldn't believe things went that far, but I needed to prove to her that I still wanted her.

Who would have though that after all these years, the passion we both had when we were together, was still there. Not only was it still there, but it seemed as if time had made it stronger. Or I could be over thinking things and that was just a standard reaction to her not being with anyone since me.

That was another thing that blew me away. She hadn't been with anyone since me. Was that even possible? I mean, fuck, she's a straight man's dream. Despite her height, she had long, toned legs, sexy curves, and her face... when she smiled, a true Ali Cat smile mind you, it shone brighter then the lighthouses on the bay. Not just her looks though, she was funny, caring, willing to try anything.

Hell most guys would kill for a chance just to be near her. Me included.

I got my chance tonight, that's for sure. I was telling her the truth when I told her I wanted her, but I also wanted to try and be friends. That's why I had gotten the Chinese. I hadn't had that since I left Forks, knowing it was her favorite.

I figured we could talk over dinner and maybe find a balance between old flames and old friends.

After convincing her to lay off the whiskey, we started talking about our lives. She told me about college, about living with Rose and Emmett, and about her job. I in turn, told her about the academy and working in the crime lab.

We both side-stepped the past and our present relationships, but it sat in the room like the giant proverbial elephant, looming over us.

I noticed once our food had time to settle that she was starting to get tired, she was curling up closer to me like she used to. I suggested that she take the bed, and I would just sleep on the couch. I should have known she would fight me on that, claiming the couch was too short for me. Even if it was true, I didn't see why she should have to use the couch. She even went as far as threatening to sleep on the couch with me if I continued to deny her request.

So I relented, telling her to go make herself comfortable in the bed while I cleaned up.

I would have laughed at the sight of her going through her bed time routine had things been different between us.

I leaned against the door frame and watched her. She took her time removing her jewelery and carefully set it on the bed side table. Then she finger combed her hair before messing it up again. I chuckled softly watching her, that was a part of the routine I never fully understood.

I thought that after all these years, maybe she'd change something in her habits, more specifically the pillow toss, as I dubbed it. She used to stack her pillows and one by one toss them to the side until she was comfortable, often times stealing mine because she threw one too many. Apparently she hadn't because I stood there and watched as one by one the pillows were tossed to the foot of the bed.

Finally, she settled into the bed and I made my way towards the other side. I removed my khakis before laying down next to her.

There's something strange about laying in bed with your ex. Your first instinct is to wrap your arms around them and pull them close. Then, if you’re a nuzzler, you find yourself wanting to kiss her neck before burying your face in her hair. You know exactly how she would react to it. You anticipate the moment she tangles her legs with yours, laces her fingers with your fingers and wait for the soft good night or love you that follows.

But things have changed. You're not that couple anymore. So you lay there awkwardly on your back, willing yourself to think about anything other than holding her, kissing her... touching her... She lies straight as a board on her side, no doubt wondering what your next move will be.

And that's where we were, stuck somewhere between wanting to do something and afraid to cross some imaginary line. She rolled onto her back and exhaled deeply, before holding out her hand as if asking me for something.

"What?" I asked quietly, looking at her hand.

"Your glasses."

"Oh..." I took them off and handed them to her. "I guess I forgot," I said sheepishly.

"It's okay," she said with a small smile. "I guess your girlfriend must not mind huh?"

I turned my head towards her and I could see her looking at me. "I typically wear contacts... I was just being lazy this morning."

"Oh." She shifted a little to place my glasses on the nightstand, "I still think you look hot with them on."

"Thanks. I still think I look like a nerd," I joked.

"Yeah, a nerd with a monster in his pants," she laughed and then froze, looking at me in horror when she realized what she’d said.

I laughed and gently touched her hand. "Don't be embarrassed. It's just me."

She laughed a little unsure, "I know, that's what makes it...hard."

I rolled over to look at her better. "Because of our past?"

She nodded, "And ‘cause... I still think about... it... us... stuff."

"I still think about it too," I admitted. "Like just now, before you mentioned my glasses, I was remembering the way I used to hold you before bed and the way you'd giggle and make yourself comfortable..."

"I meant what I said before Nerdy Boy..." She turned her head, her pale green eyes searching my face for something.

I studied her for a moment. She had said she was mine for the night, but just tonight. "Like I never left?" I asked softly.

"Yes," She nodded her head once, before her hands moved lower along her body, her fingers hooking under the hem of the shirt she was wearing.

I moved closer, leaning over her as I cupped her cheek. Slowly I brought my lips to hers, smiling as I saw her eyes flutter shut. I kissed her softly, nibbling on her bottom lip before tracing my tongue along it. She sighed allowing me entrance to her mouth.

As we kissed in a slow and passionate manner, I positioned myself over her better. My hand slid under her shirt, massaging its way to her breast. Once there I cupped and squeezed her, rubbing my thumb along her nipple as I kissed down her throat. She moaned and arched her back, pushing herself closer to me.

“I want to taste you,” I whispered in her ear as my other hand reached between us and I slipped a finger into her wetness.

She nodded in response as her hips bucked into my hand, pushing my finger deeper into her.

I took my time, slowly thrusting and curling my finger into her, adding my middle finger while my thumb rubbed gentle circles over her clit. The hand that was groping her, pulled her shirt up, exposing her chest to me and I teased her nipple with my tongue.

Her hands tugged at my hair, fighting on whether to bring me up to her mouth or to keep me where I was.

“Relax,” I said softly, before sucking her nipple into my mouth and nibbling on it as my fingers thrust deeper inside of her.

I could hear her whimper and I resisted the urge to smirk. She knew I was just working her up to the good stuff and she wanted it now.

I kissed my way down, her eyes locked on mine as I reached her stomach. I could see the slight panic on her face but as I kissed the marks left by our son, her eyes softened. With each kiss I left a silent apology for being an ass and leaving her when she needed me the most.

I removed my hand from her, making her mutter under her breath but gasp quickly as my tongue replaced the movements of my thumb, licking her clit in slow circles.
Even I’ll admit that I can be a bastard and tease the fuck out of her, which is what I did as I flicked my tongue over it and pulling away as she bucked into my face.

I repositioned her legs, sliding them over my shoulders as I pulled her closer to me, moving my tongue deep into her, tasting her and savoring the sweet moans of pleasure she emitted with each twist and curl of my tongue.

Soon I began working faster; feeling her clench as she held my head between her thighs, grinding herself into my face, desperate to get to her peak.

When she did cum, I savored her taste as she relished in my ministrations.

I slowly pulled away, kissing along her inner thigh before getting off the bed and pulling my boxer-briefs off. Reaching for my wallet, I pulled out a condom and watched as she bit her lip in anticipation.

After making sure we were safe, I returned to my position over her. I gently kissed her as my dick pressed against her entrance. Her hands worked their way between us and I had to pull away slightly.

I clicked my tongue at her as I grabbed her wrists in one hand. “Ali Cat… this is about you,” I chided her as I held her hands above her head.

"But..." she whined, pouting a little and wiggling her hips eagerly.

I chuckled as I nipped at her lips. "I promise you'll like it," I said in more of a sing song voice than anything.

"I want you to like it too!" she protested, trying to wiggle closer.

I smirked at her as I pushed in slowly, allowing only the head of my dick to enter before pulling out again. "You want that Ali?" I whispered in her ear before sucking on the lobe.

"Yes," she moaned, trying to wiggle out of my grasp. "Please don't tease me Jasper."

With that I pushed fully inside her, watching her as she pushed her head back and moaned. I moved my hips slowly, determined to have her fully enjoy this as I kissed along her collarbones, nipping at them but careful not to leave a mark.

We moved together in slow perfection, as if time never stopped for us over the years. I freed her wrist, the hand that was holding them clasping hers and my other hand cupped her face as I kissed her. Her fingers laced with mine as her other hand gripped my side.

Her leg moved up my side and I felt the heel of her foot dig into my ass as we kissed, pushing me deeper inside of her and making her moan against my lips.

I pulled out and backed away. “Turn around,” I told her when she looked at me confused. She bit into her lips as she pulled herself up, quickly tossing her shirt off, and turning onto her hands and knees.

I ran my hand down her spine stopping just above her ass, pulling my hand back and smacking her firmly. She moaned out pushing her backside closer to me.

I see she still likes to be spanked, I thought as I rubbed the pink spot on her ivory skin, before smacking her one more time on the other cheek. I watched as her head dropped forward onto her hands and she wiggled her ass at me. "I love it when you spank me N.B." she purred.

That went straight to my dick. "What else Alice?" I asked, spanking her again.

"When you hold me down," her voice was soft, but wanton. "And fuck me hard..."

I leaned over her, one hand sliding around her as my other fisted her hair, pulling on it to bring her ear closer to my lips. “Tell me how you want it Alice,” I demanded, my accent heavier with the desire I felt.

"Oh God, Jasper..." she panted, I could feel her heart racing in her chest. "Fuck me like you used to... please."

My hand slid down to her clit, where I teased her a bit, rolling it between my fingers before pinching it. "You want it rough baby?"

"Yes," she moaned loud and rolled her head back, resting it against my shoulder.

I let go of her hair, grabbing her hips roughly as I impaled her with my cock. I moved fast and hard, pushing myself deeper into her with each thrust. She was moaning loudly as the sounds of our bodies slapping against each other filled the room.

I saw her trying to put her head onto her hands. “Keep your head up Alice,” I said as I continued to pound into her from behind.

Again her head started to dip lower and I wasn’t having any of that. I pulled her back; her body flush with mine as I held her wrists against her abdomen with my hand.

“I want to hear you scream,” I told her as I scraped my teeth along her neck.

“Oh God…” she moaned, her head falling back against my shoulder.

I continued to move inside her, feeling her tighten around me as she got closer to her peak. Her gasps matched my pants in rhythm as I kissed along her neck and shoulder.

I loosened my grip on her hands and she brought them up to tangle her fingers in my hair as she brought her lips to mine, kissing me hungrily as her body started to shake from her orgasm. I came soon after her, kissing the side of her face, jaw and neck as I came down.

I brought her wrists to my lips, kissing each one before rubbing them. "You okay?" I asked her quietly, hoping I hadn't hurt her.

"I'm fantastic..." she breathed.

I smiled into her hair as I moved us and pulled out. "Want me to get you some water or something?"

"Yeah that'd be awesome..." She smiled wickedly at me, "Then do you wanna do it again?"

I laughed and pulled the condom off. "Hmm... round three sounds like fun," I grinned at her before kissing her. "I'll be right back."

"Okay," She smiled at me and settled into her pillows.

We wound up having rounds three, four and five before she actually fell asleep. I watched her as she slept. She had a small smile on her face, as if she knew something that no one else but her dreams would ever know.

I kissed the crown of her head before tucking the blankets in around us. I was pretty confident I'd be able to sleep now.

~*~*~* March 4th, 2001 *~*~*~

Today was Emmett's birthday and Edward decided that as his best friends, we needed to throw him a party to celebrate his eighteenth. I guess things went okay, we had food, music and Emmett was happy.

After the crowd cleared out, the usual bunch of us went down to the basement where we were subjected to Emmett's choices in movies. Ali Cat was smart and went to bed soon after the movie marathon started.

By the time Boondock Saints made an appearance it was my turn to leave. Emmett laughed and called me a pussy for not watching it, but I just didn't get the appeal.

I went up to the living room and sat on the couch looking out the floor to ceiling windows. It was well past midnight and everyone who wasn't in the basement was already sound asleep. Sleep... must be nice.

"Are you okay?"

I jumped at the sound of Ali Cat's voice and turned to look at her, but it was dark and I couldn't see shit without my glasses. "Yeah? Just star gazing?"

She came closer and I could see she was wearing some shorts and a tank top. It was a cold night too..."You're a bad liar Jasper... you're not wearing glasses."

I swear one of these days I'll stop sounding unsure of my answers.

I gave her a sad smile before looking away. "I guess I am. What are you doing up?"

"I was getting a glass of water, and... well, you look sad." I could hear her voice coming closer.

I felt my eyebrows furrow. "You must have the eye sight of a cat then..." I muttered shaking my head.

She laughed a little, "Okay I might've been looking for you."

She was looking for me? "Oh, well you found me." I gave her a thumbs up sign then laughed at my own stupidity.

I felt the couch shift a little as she sat down next to me, "So you wanna come hang out with me instead of hanging out here by yourself?"

"I don't know how much company I'll be..." I admitted softly.

I felt the cushions shift again and looked over to see that she had stood up, "I'd understand if you didn't want to hang out with your best friend's fourteen year old sister... it's pretty lame huh?" She looked away as she played with the hem of her tank.

"No, not lame," I said, standing up. "I'll hang out with you. At least until you fall asleep..." I trailed off giving her a small smile.

"We'll see who falls asleep first." She winked at me, bouncing a little on the balls of her feet as she led me towards the staircase. I grabbed my glasses from the coffee table as we walked past and put them on. Dear God in heaven, she's wearing those shorts...

When we got to her room, I closed the door behind me and took in the place. Pink and white were main colors of the room. She had pictures from magazines and of friends and family all over her walls. The over head light was off, but strands of twinkle lights were on, reflecting off the mirrors of her closet doors.

She sat down on her bed, scooting closer to the wall before patting the spot next to her. "What in God's name are you listening to?" I asked her as I sat down. It sounded like the pop music Rose plays when she’s trying to irritate me.

"Um," she fumbled around for a second with something on the other side of her before I heard the soothing cords of Incubus's Drive, drift through the speakers. "Nothing," she mumbled, looking down at the remote in her hands.

I chuckled and laid back on her pillow. "Look who’s the terrible liar now," I teased, pushing her knee.

She looked over at me, cast off from the lights making her eyes sparkle. "Okay, it was *NSync, but I know you hate them..."

"Hate is such a strong word... dislike yes, but this is your room," I took the remote out of her hands and skipped back to the song that was on previously, "Therefore, we listen to your music."

"No, I like your music too," She took the remote back and changed it again before sticking out her tongue at me.

I laughed and held my hands up in surrender. "Alright... alright you win. So what you doing up still?"

She shrugged, "I dunno… I wasn't tired, Emmett just has sucky taste in movies." She smiled at me.

"That he does," I agreed as I pushed my glasses up to rub my eyes. No sleep in two days was killing me.

"I'm sorry, did you wanna go to sleep?" she asked, tilting her head a little while she looked at me.

I gave her a small smile. "Unless you know the cure for nightmares, I don't think I'm gonna get much sleep."

"What do you have nightmares about?" she asked, scooting a little closer to me.

"My parents," I said softly.

"I'm sorry," Her voice was gentle and she seemed to hesitate for a moment before taking the hand closest to her. Her hand was really small compared to mine, so small in fact that when she laced her fingers with mine, my hand seemed to engulf hers.

"Your dad says it's normal..." I said, shrugging. "He said considering what I saw it's normal to relive it at times."

"It still sucks," She pulled my hand closer to her, resting it against her leg.

"Yeah it does," I agreed, moving closer to her so my head was on the pillow she would use. I looked up at her, watching her as she looked down at our joined hands.

"Do you think... Like, maybe, we could be... um... be friends?" She looked over at me hopeful.

I nodded. "I think we could definitely be friends Ali Cat."

She chewed her lip, "You think maybe... never mind." she shook her head.

"Maybe what?" I asked, tugging on her arm slightly.

"Like, we could be more than friends? Someday?" Her eyes seemed to be looking into my soul.

"Uh..." I started. I honestly didn't know what to say. I mean, sure I've thought about it. After all I've had a crush on her for over a year, but she was Edward's baby sister... "We'll see?" I offered, hoping my answer wouldn’t upset her.

"Okay," I could tell that it made her happy, her face seemed to glow with it. "Thank you by the way."

"For what?" I asked.

"For my birthday kiss," She looked at our joined hands again. "I've only ever kissed you."

"Oh! Yeah, no... don't thank me. I'm just sorry I was your first kiss. ‘Cause uh... you were mine too," I admitted feeling my neck and ears warm up.

"Why are you sorry? I thought it was perfect." She bit her bottom lip.

"Well, cause it was my first time... and yours and I mean, I'm sure I could have done something better," I shrugged.

She shook her head, I could see even in this low light that she was blushing. "No...uh...no."

I took the remote back from her and turned the music down even more before tugging for her to lay down with me. "You know you can tell me anything right?" I asked her.

She smiled and shook her head, settling in close. "You can tell me anything."

"Deal," I said with a smile.

"You remember that thing you did... in the closet?" she asked after a long quiet moment.

I nodded, remembering the way that I kissed her and touched her, the way she sounded when I did something she liked. "Yeah..." I said softly

"I liked it a lot," She pressed herself closer to me.

"You did huh?" I asked, gently running the back of my finger along the skin of her stomach her tank top exposed, just above her shorts.

"Yeah," She moved so her head was on the same pillow as me. "Did you like it?"

I nodded looking at her. "I did."

"You wanna tell me about your nightmares?" She looked at me and her face was so close to mine I would barely have to move to kiss her.

I shook my head, laughing as our noses rubbed together. "I don't want you to have them too," I explained.

"I'm sorry that you have them," She gave me a small smile. "Maybe if you sleep with me... I can help you?"

"You gonna try to protect me from the monster?" I asked, smiling slightly as I tucked her hair behind her ear.

"I'll try to protect you from your nightmares, what's the worst that could happen?"

"Neither one of us gets any sleep?" I shrugged.

"Exactly," She smiled brightly, "So uhhh.. how are we gonna sleep?"

Good question. "Uh... I don't know.. how do you normally sleep? Like me, I usually sleep on my back or side."

"I usually sleep on my side or my stomach."

"Okay... Well... let's try sleeping on our sides... and if that doesn't work I can sleep on the floor so you have the bed?" I offered.

"Okay!" She smiled brightly at me once again and turned so her back was towards me, then scooted back til we were touching. "Is that okay?"

"Yeah, you're fine," I told her as I pulled my glasses off and placed them on her nightstand. I moved closer to her, wrapping my arm around her waist. "Is that okay?" I asked softly.

"Yeah, it's nice," I could hear the happiness in her voice.

I smiled and kissed her shoulder. "Good night Ali Cat."

"Night my Nerdy Boy," she yawned out.

That was the first time in, I honestly don't know how long, I wasn't haunted with the dreams of my past. Who would have thought Ali Cat was right, she protected me from the monsters.

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Thursday, July 8, 2010

Chapter 12

APOV:

I couldn’t get him and his damn piercing grey eyes out of my head. It was like he was haunting me, only I knew it was self possessed.

I am still in love with Jasper Whitlock. I so do not need this. I still am in love with Garrett. I am engaged to him for God's sake. I promised, well not officially, but nonetheless I told him I loved him, only him, and that I would marry him.

That was before Jasper held me in his arms as we danced, before the dirty talk and the fight we had. I heard my phone ring and let the voicemail get it; maybe Mr. Volturi would let me have a few personal days to figure things out. I leaned my head onto my folded hands and let a single tear escape.

I am so fucked.

I heard a tap at my door and without raising my head I told whoever it was to come in.

"Alice, is everything okay?" My head snapped up at the voice.

"I’m sorry Mr. Volturi! I just have a bad headache." I lied smoothly.

"Alice, I’ve told you before, please call me Aro and if you have a headache why don’t you call it a day, we’re not really too busy today and I need you in top form for the meeting on Friday." He told me, giving me a fatherly like smile. I nodded a little in response and packed my bag, ready to go home.

~*oOo*~

I don’t really know how I ended up here, but I sat in front of the Seattle police station, making sure my hair was perfect, my makeup wasn’t smudged, and that my teeth didn’t have anything in them. I had to know why he left, why he no longer wanted me when it was very apparent on that dance floor that his body still craved me as much as mine did him.

After opening the door of my Porsche and fixing the ribbon on my shoes where they wound up my legs, I marched into the station like a lady on a mission. I was greeted by a burly man at the front desk.

"Can I help you?" He asked in a charmingly deep voice, perfectly suited to his body stature, I gave him a flirty smile, he smiled a little back.

"I need to speak to Jasper Whitlock, fairly sure he’ll be in the lab?" I said as a question, hoping he would know who I was talking about and that I was flirty enough to have him do what I wanted.

He nodded a little sadly. "Yes, hold on ma’am I’ll call him up. Can I have your name Miss?"

I nodded and gave him another flirty smile, "Alice Cullen."

After a few minutes on the phone the man looked back at me, "He’ll be right up."

"Thank you ever so much." I batted my eyes a little, making him blush. Score one for Alice. He pointed to a row of uncomfortable looking plastic chairs, I gave him a little wink before I perched myself on one and crossed my legs, letting my skirt push up a little on my thigh.

I knew nerdy boy liked that shit. Why I was still doing it was beyond me.

As always, I felt him before I actually saw him, it was as if something about him was directly tied to my body’s natural reactions. I closed my eyes momentarily, cursing the fact that his mere presence made me wet as I shifted in my seat a little. When I opened my eyes I saw him, hair a mess, like he’d been tugging at it, dark rimmed glasses on his face, dark jeans, a button up and converse sneakers. Well, at least some things never change. I smirked a little at him as he walked over to me, his grey eyes locked onto mine.

He shoved his hands in his pockets when he reached me, "Hey Ali Cat…" He gave me a rather tight smile, he wasn’t all that happy to see me. Good. "What can I do for you?"

I stood up, even in the four inch heels I only came up to his shoulder. I tried to make myself as tall as possible. I licked my lips to moisten them a little. "I need to talk to you."

He nodded his understanding, "Okay, uh… give me a minute?"

With a nod of my head I said, "Sure."

I watched him turn and jog over to a desk in the back, talking to an older officer before he ran back, I couldn’t help but notice how his shirt moved exposing little bits of skin here and there. Fuck I need to get laid and stop thinking about him. "Sorry, have to tell them when I leave... Uh do you want some coffee or something?" he asked me, not even a little breathless from his run.

I shook my head, "No... just somewhere private."

"Uh okay..." He sounded a bit nervous as he nodded. "Well, I'm staying at Bella's old place if you want to follow?"

I gave him what I hoped was a winning smile. "That sounds great." After all, Bella’s old apartment was very private.

"Okay," he affirmed, holding the door open for me.

I waved and gave another quick wink to the officer behind the desk before turning to walk out the door. "Thank you." I said quietly, as I passed by Jasper walking out the door.

"No problem." I heard him behind me; I smirked and swayed my hips a little as I walked to my car, hoping he was paying attention to what he missed out on. I turned to see him straddle his old bike and put the helmet on. Fuck me, that still turns me on.

Stop it Alice! I chided myself resting my forehead on the steering wheel so I could regain my composure before I drove to the familiar apartment.

The sound of the bike’s engine broke me out of my reverie, damn thing was loud, and I put the key in the ignition and turned, listening to the purr of the engine as I reversed and followed Jasper about five minutes down the street to the Avalon Belltown Apartments and turned into the parking lot.

I followed him up the stairs and watched as he opened Bella’s old apartment door. I wonder if he plans to keep it, I thought as I walked in. Stupid Alice, he’s leaving, he has a girlfriend, stop entertaining the thought, besides you are with Garrett, remember? I sighed, I so didn’t deserve him.

Jasper led the way into the main living area of the apartment; it used to be fully decorated, much like my own apartment, except in blues and purples. Now everything was taken down and there were a few boxes with Bella’s handwriting left in the dining room near the table, and sitting on the coffee table in front of Bella’s sofa was the box of keepsakes Jasper and I collected together. I swallowed hard when I saw it. He still had it; he didn’t toss it or burn it. He kept it. I could feel the tears form at the corner of my eyes. Then I saw sitting next to it a half-full bottle of Sothern Comfort. Well then...

I raised an eyebrow slightly at Jasper as I sat in the blue gingham armchair, crossing my legs and giving him a little show of my thighs. He obviously noticed. I watched his tongue dart out to lick his bottom lip as he eyed my legs appreciatively and sat on the sofa. I cleared my throat and gave him a satisfied smirk as he blushed a little.

He rubbed his hand along the back of his neck for a moment before leaning his forearms on his thighs and looking at me, "So to what do I owe the unexpected surprise?"

I could no longer remember the well rehearsed words I had planned to say, I chewed my lip for a moment trying to figure out what it was. I started and stopped a few times realizing that no matter what I said the words were gonna come out wrong. "I can't stop thinking about you." I finally told him.

He looked down at his clasped hands, "I'm... sorry?"

I swallowed hard, "I just... I mean I thought about you every day while you were gone, but the pain was starting to go away." I looked down at my legs, even though it was starting to go away, I was never truly happy without him here. "Okay so this isn't going how I wanted it to." I admitted, sighing.

"Well I'm sorry that my coming back here caused you pain... I'm just finishing this case and I'll be out of your hair." My head snapped up when he said that, noticing the tight smile on his face but he still wasn't looking at me. It might be so easy for him, but not for me.

I scoffed at his words, "Yeah okay." I said sarcastically, my tone harsh.

He looked at me then, his expression unreadable, "Excuse me?"

"Don't you get it? You are never out of my head therefore never out of my hair!"

"Obviously I was ‘cause you’re with that Gary guy or what ever the fuck his name is!" He had no right to be angry about that, and it enraged me even more.

"Well I was done fucking pining over you, wishing you'd come back, hurting every time I sa-heard about you with another girl. You left me Jasper, when I needed you the most you weren't here! I needed someone and Garrett is a good man who loves me and won't hop on a plane one day and run off like a coward!" I spat angrily.

He stood up and faced me, his stormy eyes narrowed and fists clenched, "Well if that’s the case, then why are you here with me instead of with him?" I jumped up at that, tilting my head so I could glare at him, wishing I wasn’t so short.

"Because I wanna know why?! Why N.B.?!" My voice broke with the punctuation of my special nickname for him as the tears that had threatened to fall earlier now trickled down my face.

"Because I loved you too much to stay here and hurt you!" His voice sounded exasperated.

"Bullshit! You hurt me anyway!"

"Trust me Alice, I could have done worse." His voice was stern, with a note of finality to it.

I shook my head, "Fine. I give up arguing with you. Obviously trying to find out anything from you is like trying to figure out what a fortune cookie means." He stared at me, eyes narrowed. "I am sorry I came to bother you." I spat, glaring at him through the tears, "I'll leave you be now so you can laugh about me with your stupid precious girlfriend." I hissed before walking around the coffee table and grabbing my purse off the chair. "I was stupid to think you cared."

Before I could walk away, he grabbed my arm and tugged me to face him. "I do care Alice."

"You don't get to touch me like that anymore Jasper!" I yanked my arm out of his grasp. "I don't believe you."

"How the hell am I supposed to prove that to you Alice? Enlighten me because I have no fucking clue what you want me to do here," he growled out irritably.

I shook my head. "I am pretty fucking sure that if you actually cared, you would think of a way." He stared at me again, not saying anything. I actually hoped he would make some grand gesture... something... and I received nothing. I took a deep breath to calm myself. "You can't can you?" I whispered, looking at his hard expression, greeted once again with silence. I can’t do this anymore, I am engaged to Garrett, I am a stupid woman. I shook my head. "Go bury yourself between your girlfriend's thighs. Tell her I feel sorry for her, you’re just using her like you use everyone else."

"You think I used you?" he whispered, irate as he glared at me, "I never used you, Alice. I don't fucking want her. I want you and you're making it very difficult for me right now."

He didn’t even know what he did; I felt a bit of pity for him and gave him a sad smile. "I let you use me, I hoped..." That you could find a way to love me. I thought as a tear rolled down my cheek. "But it never came true, I know you don't want her, but you don't want me either." I was going to continue on my path out the door, but he leapt over the small coffee table and pulled me to him, kissing me desperately, our tongues struggling against one another. I broke our kiss so I could pull away, my core already throbbing and aching to be filled by him, there was no turning back now, I hoped he understood that. "Jasper don't start what you can't finish." I whispered, and he smirked at me.

"And who said I can't."

I gave him an eyebrow, my hands resting on his strong chest. "Your girlfriend Kathy or what ever the fuck her name is."

He locked eyes with me and started to walk me back, I couldn’t break his gaze if I tried. "Sorry to disappoint you darlin' but this isn’t about her. This is about you and me."

I hit the wall and my hands fell back, clutching for something to hold onto. You and me. The words rang over and over in my head. "What about us?" I asked him breathless.

"You seemed to be sadly mistaken thinking that I don't want you. But see here's the thing Alice. You have been on my mind every goddamned second of every goddamned day since you were twelve fucking years old. I wanted you then, and goddamn it I want you now."

Since I was twelve, I felt my heart almost stop with his admission, "Well then, I guess you really have something to prove don't you?" I gave him a speculative eyebrow, "Because words are pointless." He growled before his lips collided with mine, kissing me with so much passion my knees almost gave out.

I gave into his kiss, kissing him back with just as much enthusiasm. My hands finding the fabric of his shirt and tugging, hard, I heard the snapping sound and light pings from the buttons scattering and hitting the walls. I felt him grin against my lips, fucker, I pinched his nipple through his undershirt and he hissed, breaking our kiss to look into my eyes.

His hands found their way to my back and pulled apart my dress near the zipper, I heard the sound of the fabric ripping and then felt the cool air of the apartment against my bare skin as my dress fell away. I took a deep breath as his eyes wandered my body; I tensed up as he saw my scarred belly and waited for him to ask about the faded stretch marks.

But he didn’t say anything; instead he shrugged the button up off and pulled the undershirt off, revealing to me the beauty of his torso. If I thought he was hot before, he was even more so now. I licked my lips as I stared openly at the well defined muscles on his sides, the developed pecs, the sculpted six pack and the deep V leading to his cock that I could see was straining against his jeans. I ran my hand down his body, leaving gooseflesh in my wake and rubbed against the rather large bulge.

Licking my lips as I looked up at him, I dropped to my knees and he leaned on his hands against the wall. Not breaking eye contact I popped the button and lowered the zipper, slowly, letting my fingers graze his cotton covered member before I pulled the jeans down to his ankles and finally looked at the perfectly held bulge in the boxer briefs my nerdy boy now sported. Well, that was an interesting change.

I met his hooded eyes once again as I ran my lips along the bulge, sucking roughly through the fabric once I got to the head. "Jesus," I heard him moan out, making me extremely smug.

"Does your girlfriend like these?" I growled at him, he glared at me and growled back as I pulled them down, his swollen cock springing out. I wrapped my hand around as much of it as I could and stroked him gently. He groaned and leaned closer to the wall as I took him into my mouth, sucking and swirling my tongue around the head. I continued my movements, bobbing as his hips bucked forward into my expectant mouth.

"Fuck..." he groaned as I relaxed my throat and pushed myself down till my nose was pressed against his flesh, then came back up slowly, releasing him with a pop and then standing up.

"Can your little girlfriend do that?" I asked him, smug and defiant.

He took my hands in his, our fingers lacing automatically and pulled them together up over my head, pulling me up against the wall. "Depends, does your boyfriend know this?" he asked in a husky voice, rich with his southern accent. With that, wetness flooded my core as he kissed and nipped at my neck just below my ear.

"I don't wanna think about him right now, fuck me N.B." I partially moaned out. I felt him smirk against my skin.

"With pleasure."

Pulling both of my wrists into his right hand, he let his left glide gently down my arm to my breast, squeezing as he continued to kiss and nibble on my neck, traveling down to the swell before pulling the fabric down and taking the hardened nub into his mouth, my back arching as a response to his attention.

"Jasper…" I moaned out, wrapping my legs around his waist and pressing my center against his stomach.

"Are you in need of some special attention Ali Cat?" He drawled as his hand traveled further south to my lace thong before he ran a finger along the edge, driving me absolutely insane.

"Yes." I groaned out, biting my lip in earnest. He gave me a devilish smile as his fingers went even farther south, brushing against my pearl before quickly moving the fabric to the side and thrusting himself into me, my jaw dropping open and a indescribable sound coming out all at once.

He stilled his hips for a moment and smirked at me with half lidded eyes, letting go of my hands to grab the underside of my thigh. My hands weaved themselves into his hair and pulled him to my lips, kissing him hungrily as we thrust together, the feeling of him inside me was remarkable, memory had definitely not served it justice.

He pushed me harder and pressed his knee up against the wall using it as a prop for my thigh so both of his hands could explore my body. His lips moved back down to my bosom as he flicked down the fabric that covered the other breast and bit down on my nipple, hard. I dug my nails into his back and yanked, scratching him rather than screaming out. He cupped my breasts in both his hands and flicked his thumb across the sensitive peaks as he whispered huskily into my cleavage. "God, I’ve missed you."

I smirked and rolled my hips faster to meet his, desperate to reach the cliff I had only dreamed about for five years. He met my thrusts with as much enthusiasm, almost pulling out all the way before slamming into me hard and making me cry out with pleasure every time. I could feel the ball tightening in my stomach and knew I was close, I think he knew it too because he suddenly moved his hands to my ass and squeezed as he moved us away from the wall and backed up till he hit the couch and landed with a soft thud, still inside of me.

I grabbed the back of the sofa for leverage as he held onto my hips and bucked on him quickly, his hips thrusting up hard as he bit into his lip and locked eyes with me. I pulled my hips all the way up releasing him and slammed myself back down, burying him to the hilt and felt the orgasm wash over me, my head lolling back as I felt him throb and spill inside of me, groaning into my chest.

I recovered for a minute before moving slightly so I could look at him. “Fuck, you’d think I’d fucking learn.” Then leaned my head onto the top of the couch.

“Learn what?”

I groaned into the couch, “To use a condom.”

“Well unlike last time, we weren't expecting that…” he mused, his fingertips brushing lightly against my sides and making me turn my head so I could look into those penetrating grey eyes.

“Last time was,” extremely romantic. I smiled a little as I remembered. He seemed to agree because he smiled and nodded. I wondered when he was going to ask about the stretch marks, I could still see them and they were very obvious. “I know you're dying to know so just ask.”

“You're referring to Ryan right? Because I already know…” I gaped and he covered my mouth with his hand. “And before you threaten harm to anyone. Emmett filled me in, but only after Garrett so rudely clued me in.” He removed his hand to let me speak.

“Garrett told you? What did he say?”

Jasper shook his head. “Just something really uncalled for and Edward made Emmett remove me from the party for a minute.”

“Oh.” I chewed my lip, I wonder what Rhett would’ve said to make NB mad like that. “Yeah, um… you're a Daddy... only not really.”

“Yeah.”

Well, time to get cleaned up, I moved off of him. “I'll be right back,” I went to the bathroom to clean myself off, ashamed of myself for what had just happened. Jasper, while my childhood best friend, was not my fiancé, he was not the man in love with me, and not someone I could count on to stick around. I shook my head as I looked around for something to wear since he so carelessly ripped my six hundred dollar, Yves Saint Laurent dress, something I was trying not to be pissed about, and found an undershirt of his. Fuck it. I smelled it to make sure it wasn’t too dirty before pulling it over my head and walking back out to the living room, seeing that he was finally pulling his pants up and he laughed when he took in my look. Yes, I was styling his undershirt with fuck hot heels… all I need is a belt and I would be fashionable.

“I can give you a clean one you know,” he chuckled.

“Well, it was on the floor and you ripped my dress.” I said, crossing my arms. “I figured since I have to go home I might as well not steal something that you need for work.”

“Ah, so you're a fuck and run kind of girl now, huh?” He nodded his head a little at me as my eyebrows jumped to my hairline.

“Yeah well... I figured it's how you like them best right?”

He rolled his eyes at me as he buttoned his khakis. “Actually I was thinking you'd like to work on that whole friendship thing we talked about earlier.” He lips turned up in such a cruel manner I hardly recognized my Nerdy Boy. “Unless Garrett has such a tight leash on you that you can't have male friends.”

“Friends don't fuck against walls, N.B.” I snapped, shaking my head, “And I ain't the one that has a significant other with issues.” As it stands, I think I'll need to get a restraining order against the crazy bitch after what just happened.

“I suppose the only thing to do now is replace that dress, right?”

I rolled my eyes and put a hand up in front of me. “Whatever N.B., you're still an ass who just uses people for sex. Forget about the dress.”

“No Ali Cat, I'm not. I want to actually try to get my best fucking friend back.”

“Why? You're leaving again!” I shouted.

“Because Alice, I want to be able to call you on your birthday without having to worry if you'll even pick up the call. I want to plan to come back on holidays and be able to see you instead of being concerned with ruining everyone else's fucking holiday cheer because I will undoubtedly piss you off somehow!” he yelled back.

“What do you want from me?!”

“I want my best friend back. The one that knew me better then I knew myself.” His face looked so broken. Fuck it, I give up. I sat on the couch and untied the laces of my heels.

“Garrett is out of town anyway,” I muttered.

“And that means what Alice?” he demanded.

“You have me for the night…” I told him as I popped the shoes off my feet.

“Only if you want to be here.”

I looked at him. “I still love you Jasper…” His face didn’t show any sign of anything, it was practically void of emotion, I sighed and looked back down. “Of course I want to be here.”

“Are you hungry?” he asked, his voice disturbingly calm.

“Yeah,” I chuckled, “I really haven't eaten much in the last few days.”

I looked up just as he gave me a rather curt little nod. “You still like Chinese?”

“Of course…” I responded, wondering why he was so… unemotional. He walked away and I could hear him murmuring so I assumed he was on the phone when he came around the corner it confirmed my suspicions.

“Hey Ali Cat, did you want Spring Rolls or Dumplings?” he asked it as if nothing had happened; okay seriously this guy is throwing me for a loop.

“Spring Rolls…” I responded, looking at him curiously as I tucked my feet up under me.

“Kay,” he went back around the corner, his murmurs a gentle reminder he was still in the apartment. I couldn’t believe he was here, honestly, I couldn’t believe I was here. “One order of Mandarin Chicken, Sweet and Sour Pork, Lo Mien and Spring Rolls will be here in forty five minutes.” He handed me a water bottle, “Sorry it's all I got besides,” he nodded his head a little in the direction of the whiskey bottle.

“Yeah... why do you have that here anyway?” Jasper was never much of a hard liquor type guy. He picked up the bottle and looked at it for a minute, then cleared his throat.

“Helps me sleep?”

“Oh,” I pursed my lips, I knew he was lying, but he was hiding it for his own reasons. I no longer had the right to push. “Why…” I took a deep breath, prepared for angry Jasper once more. “Why did that just happen?”

He looked over at the wall; he knew what I was talking about. “Frustration maybe?” he shrugged.

I moved my legs out from under me and stretched them out on the coffee table before I reached over Jasper for the bottle of whiskey. “So… what's on the game plan N.B.?” I looked over at him to see him looking at my legs out of the corner of his eyes. That made me smirk.

“I don't know Ali Cat.”

I pulled my knee up, resting my heel on the edge of the couch as I took a swig of whiskey, “How long you staying for?”

He relaxed into the couch before answering. “Uh about a week, I think.”

I shifted around so that my legs were resting in his lap before answering. “So you planning on marrying the sk- I mean, your girlfriend?”

He shook his head and gave me a rueful smile, “No, to marry someone that means you love them right?” he picked up my foot and began massaging it.

I scoffed a little, it didn’t stop a lot of people from getting married, “Yeah.” I could tell he was really appreciating my legs, and maybe it was the alcohol, but I really wanted to fuck with him a little bit. So I moved my leg that wasn’t being massaged and lightly rubbed against the bulge in his pants, feeling it harden slightly as my foot moved. “Thank you by the way,” I took another pull off the bottle.

He raised an eyebrow at me, “For the liquor, dinner or foot rub?”

“All of the above and…” I took a longer drink, “that was the first sex I have had since you left.” And holy fucking hell that was good.

“Wow,” he shook his head, “how is that even possible?”

I shrugged, “I mean... I've done other things… just... I dunno why I am telling you this.”

He laughed. “Well for one, I know that you always seemed to talk when there's alcohol involved... and two I have super skills that make you talk.”

I laughed at that and took another drink, “I have skills that make you talk too you know,” I began lifting my leg, but he grabbed it before I could get too high.

“I don't recommend you do that unless you want a replay of twenty minutes ago.”

I smirked at him, slightly drunk, “I did say I was yours for the night.” I bit into my lip a little more, “However whatever happens tonight... it can't... you know.” I shrugged.

He nodded, “Yeah I know. Perhaps we’ll just see where the night leads us?”

I held the bottle out for him to take a drink, “Agreed.” He smiled at me and then shook his head at the bottle. “Why not?”

He shrugged, “Would prefer to have a clear head tonight.”

I raised an eyebrow and shook the bottle a little again, “Just one drink to loosen you up?”

He laughed, “Peer pressure,” he shook his head as he took it from me and took a long drink.

*~*~*~*May 5th 2005*~*~*~*

Tick, tock, tick, tock.

Fuck how long can two minutes take?

I looked at my watch; barely a minute had passed since I peed on the fucking stick.

I don’t know what Rosie is going on about, seriously I am not pregnant, I am just stressed out and upset Nerdy Boy broke up with me and left.

I looked at my watch again.

Longest two minutes in history I tell you.

I mean I can’t be pregnant, I’ve only slept with one guy and we’ve always been careful.

Okay, maybe not that one time, but seriously, I would’ve known by now…right?

I looked at my watch again.

Thank fuck! I moved over to the counter where the test laid and picked it up, one dark pink line and a regular pink line, then looked at the box. It said two lines mean you’re pregnant; I looked at my test…

No.

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Chapter 11

JPOV

So the last meeting with Alice wasn't what I hoped for. Honestly, I expected her to be angry with me. I just didn't expect for her to go storming out like she did.

"Jasper! Are you listening me?"

I rolled my eyes as I parked Emmett's jeep in front of the small station for the Forks Police department. "Yeah, Kel, I heard you. Fuck I think the whole town hear you."

"Well, if you would stop ignoring me and I wouldn't have to yell."

"What do you want Kelly Anne?"

"I want my boyfriend to stop chasing his ex's tail and come home," she said in a voice that I'm pretty sure she wanted to sound cute, but if anything it was more like nails on a chalk board.

"I'm not chasing anything," I sighed exasperated. It's not like Alice would give me a chance anyhow. "I told you before the wedding, I'll be home in a week. I haven't seen my friends and family-"

"Yeah, yeah. Bullshit Jasper, you saw your sister here remember? You're just using this as an excuse to see her again and I know it."

"Damn it Kelly, I don't want to fight right now. I have to go meet with Chief Swan now. You think you can stop being a bitch long enough to say goodbye or do I need to hang up on you?"

"Mmm... Jasper, you know how hot I think you are when you're angry..." She purred and I resisted the urge to gag.

"Bye Kel."

"Love you Nerdy B-." I snapped the phone shut to end the call before tossing it to the floor board of the car. I fucking hated that she called me by that name.

~oOo~

Even though I had seen Charlie less than twenty four hours before, I still felt nervous about seeing him. He said he wanted to meet with me regarding a professional matter, which doesn't calm my nerves any. Growing up, Charlie and Carlisle were two important father figures for me and both are the reason why I decided to go through the academy.

"Jasper, hey son. Glad you could make it!" Charlie greeted me warmly with a firm handshake.

"Of course, sir." He laughed and pointed to the chair in front of his desk.

"Don't give me that sir crap," he chided. "Just cause my baby girl got married don't mean I'm old."

"Would think of it... sir," I joked.

He smiled at me as he sat down, pushing a file over at me. "Let's talk shop."

~oOo~

"Wait, so dad offered you a spot in the lab?" Bella asked as she chopped vegetables.

"Yup," I offered, popping a piece of cucumber in my mouth.

"In Seattle though? For how long? Where are you going to stay? Have you told..."

"Whoa, love, calm down. Let Jasper answer your first question before asking him more." Edward interrupted as he hung his coat up in the mud room. "Hey Jazz."

"Hey," I greeted back with a slight laugh. "Sorry about the honeymoon by the way." Edward just shook his head at me before giving Bella a kiss. I looked down at the marble tile. Ed and Bells were never as open about their relationship as Rose and Em are, but they still had their moments that made me feel like I was intruding.

"Alright Jasper, answer my questions." Bella said shooing Edward away.

"Well, he needs help with forensics... I'm just here until my part is done. Based on what I saw, I’d say three weeks tops."

"You staying with the Hale's?" Edward asked as he handed me a beer from the fridge.

"That or with Rosie and Em." I shrugged.

Bella shook her head. "That's stupid Jazz. The Hale's are in Forks. That's like an eight hour commute back and forth."

"I have my bike," I winked at her. "That can cut three maybe four hours off." I knew she hated when we joked about going above the speed limit.

"No. Bike or no bike, that commute is ridiculous."

"She's got a point Jazz." Ed agreed. "And Emmett wouldn't hesitate to pull your ass over."

I shook my head and laughed. "What do ya'll suggest? It's too expensive to get a hotel that whole time. And I need somewhere that I can work at night..."

I watched as Edward and Bella seemed to have some silent conversation before she set the knife down and went to her purse. "Alright, so you need a place to stay, that's quiet and you can use to work from home with for at least a month, yes?" She asked.

"Uh... yeah?" I looked over at Edward who seemed to be thinking something over.

She turned and held a set of keys in front of her. "My lease is up at the end of the month. But it's yours for the time being. I'm still in the process of moving out, but I'll use Ed's key." She put the keys in my pocket before patting my face. "Who knows, maybe this will give you incentive to stay."

"Isabella..." Edward said in a warning tone.

"Oh don't give me that shit Edward. You want him to stay too."

"I do but I'm not going to throw it in his face, Love," Edward smirked at her before taking a long pull off his beer.

"You do realize the he you speak of is right here?" I clarified, making them laugh.

"Welcome home Jazz," Edward said with a smirk as he raised his bottle.

*~*~*~*March 4th, 2004*~*~*~*

"Welcome to our home away from home Ali Cat," I said softly as I carried our bags into the room behind her.

"This place is amazing!" She spun around to look at me, her face glowing with happiness.

I smiled at her as I set the bag down. "So you like it?" I had saved up from the jobs I did over the summer just to get a nice room of our anniversary. The guys didn't understand why I wanted to celebrate the anniversary of Ali Cat and I being best friends, but I knew she would understand.

"Oh my gosh, it's fantastic!" she spun around, taking it all in again before going to the wall of windows with a view of the Pacific Ocean. "It's so beautiful N.B."

I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her. "I'm glad you like it Ali Cat," I said softly before kissing her temple. "I wanted to do something nice for us."

She leaned into me, "Why today?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, it's March... we first had sex in November..." she shrugged a little.

I chuckled softly. "True, but we've been friends longer than that."

She turned to face me, "we met in the summer."

"Well... unofficially you became my best friend in March..." Emmett was right, I sound like a girl.

"Oh... the time you uh... well the first time you held me while we slept?" she gave me a small smile.

I nodded. "Yeah..."

"I guess that is something to celebrate huh?" she winked at me.

I laughed and nodded. "Yes. Plus it gives me a reason to have you all to myself without any interruptions," I waggled my eyebrows at her.

She laughed, "Oh you mean you don't like Emmett barging in like he owns the place?"

"Exactly." I swear one of these days we're gonna get caught.

"We almost got caugh last weekend..." she smiled wickedly.

"Yes, but luckily we didn't. Your brother would have killed me."

"I'll protect you," she reached up and kissed me gently. I cupped the back of her neck as I deepened the kiss, allowing for us to get lost in the moment as our tongues danced together.

I pulled away slightly to see her smile a little before biting her bottom lip. "Isn't it my job to protect you?" I asked.

"You do anyway," she smiled and leaned in to kiss me again.

~oOo~

Yeah, protecting her. At least that's what I thought I would be doing all those years ago when I left. I should have known better. I think the truth is I got scared.

Why else would I throw everything away like I did? Because I'm a fucking moron, that's why.

"It's just two weeks tops Whitlock. You can do this," I said to myself as I carried in the last of my things to Bella's old apartment. I was grateful Bella was letting me stay here for the time being. I honestly don't think I could have stayed sane at Greg and Brianna's place, and as much as I love my sister, I know we would have ended up in fist fight before too long.

I’m not sure why I jumped at the opportunity to stay like I did when Charlie offered it to me. Sure the new Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen were happy I was staying here. Hell, I knew Em and Rose were too, but none of that matter to me. The only person's opinion that I cared about probably could care less.

What else should I expect? I left her at prom after promising to always be there. I barely even contacted her in the past five years. She moved on, just like I wanted her to.

I shook my head, trying to get her off my mind. I need a drink.

I looked around the kitchen for something, anything really that might dull the pain a bit and lucked out. Bella had an unopened bottle of Southern Comfort stashed in the back of the fridge. The only time she would drink soda was if it was spiked with this shit when we were younger. Some things never change, I thought as I noticed the Dr. Pepper next to it.

I carried the bottle to the living room where my laptop bag and a box sat. I stared at the box as if it had all the answers to my problems before sitting down and picking it up.

It was just an old shoe box that Alice had decorated with various picture from magazines she liked or thought reminded her of us. "It's our box" she had said when she showed it to me.

And that's just what this box was, ours. Everything in it was related to the relationship we had. Whether it be concert tickets, movie stubs, pictures, hell, even random notes were thrown in here. I brought it back with me, deciding it was hers to keep, if she wanted to destroy the memories in it, then so be it. They were hers to decide what to do with.

I thumbed through the contents in the box, stopping to look at the various pictures, before I came across a dvd. I felt my eyebrow quirk up at it, since it had Alice's neat penmanship on it. He lied, was printed across the front with a smiley face.

I turned my computer on and placed the dvd in the drive, waiting as it loaded up.

There laid Alice, her black hair fanned across my pillow as she stuck her tongue out at the camera. I could hear myself laughing.

“Seriously N.B., turn it off.” Ali laughed trying to cover her face with her hands.

“Come on babe, just a kiss on camera… please,” I whined. She brought her hands down and rolled her eyes. I could see the smile she was fighting to hide.

“Why did you even buy that? I thought you wanted to get a new camera?”

“I did get a new camera. This is better cause I can film our little trips.” She rolled her eyes again in response and licked her lips.

“I don’t know…” she started.

“Just one kiss Ali Cat, and I promise… I’ll turn it off.”

“Fine,” she conceded.

The camera moved a bit before her profile came into view. “N.B.… it’s still on.”

“No it’s not.”

“Yeah, it is.” She looked into the lens. “The red light is on.”

“No, it’s just the stand-by,” I said as my head came into view.

I remembered what I was doing as I watched us on the screen, the memory of how her soft skin felt against my lips, and the way she tasted when I ran my tongue over her skin. I could tell by the way she sucked in her bottom lip that I had just bitten her ear. I could hear her moan softly, her head moving to give me better access to her neck.

"N.B.," she whined, her eyes locked onto the camera lens.

My head moved back up, mere inches from hers. I looked at the lens for a moment and smiled before kissing the corner of her mouth, making her look up at me. "Just relax Ali Cat," I told her softly. "If it is recording I promise I'll erase it."

She glanced at the camera again. Now after all these years I could still see the fear and excitement in her green eyes. She turned back to look at me. "No one sees this." She warned.

I held three fingers my left hand up. "Scouts honor."

I pushed fast forward on the computer as I took a long pull from the whiskey. I fucked up royally. We went from the happiness on this damned disk to her wanting to castrate me on sight.

I deserve it though.

She was looking at the camera again, smiling as she bit her lip. I pushed play and the room was filled with the sound of her soft moans. I watched, entranced with her face. Periodically her eyes would flutter shut as she told me that she liked what I was doing. Just watching this video, listening to her sounds and seeing the way I used to make her happy, both turned me on and made it painful to watch.

"Oh God... Jazz!" she cried out in the video. I quickly shut it off as I took another pull from the whiskey. I knew what happens next, but didn't have the strength to watch it.

Monday, July 5, 2010

The Hot Seat!

Oh yes it's back! This time you have until July 15th 11:59 PM EST to get those questions in!

This will be posted on both blogs, but the final answers will be reviled at Alsper's Blog

EDIT: So I (K) am a dumbass and didn't leave a spot for you to leave your name. If you want everyone to know you asked the question. please leave your name in either a comment or with your question. I know someone has asked and I'm sorry I don't know who it was. I just know they asked on the 4th :( sorry *hides*

Teaser!

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