Chapter 26

APOV:

I hated waiting, it was one of those things I was never really good at. Not that I'm impatient, no, just waiting and not doing anything seems very unproductive to me, and I am a very productive person. Or at least I'd like to think I am. I am also one of those 'take charge' kind of people, and waiting around to see if you're ex boyfriend/bestfriend/love-of-your-life to show back up is not really a 'take charge' kind of move.

At least he called me, that's a good thing, right? That means the trashy whore didn't dig her claws into him again and force him to stay somehow.

All the what ifs kept playing in my head and it was slowly making me nauseous. I needed to think of something else... Do something else. So I decided to make a call to someone I hadn't spoken to since Jasper came back into my life like the tornado that he is; Carmen.

~*~oOo~*~

After I got off the phone with Carmen I felt a little better, she suggested that I should just clean up my apartment and purge some items a bit and she also said that I could visit them in New York if I wanted to. I told her I’d think about it and got off the phone. Maybe it was time to purge my closet and my home of useless things, donate some to Goodwill or just toss things I no longer had any use for.

I put a handkerchief on my head and my grubbiest clothes on before I got started. About halfway through the day I decided I was in need of a cucumber sandwich and some tea, bad. I began making everything when there was a knock at the door.

Who the fuck could that be? I wondered as I padded over to the door, unlocking it and opening it expecting to see a salesperson.

"Surprise," N.B. said with a smile.

"Oh my God! I wasn't expecting to see you so soon!" I squealed happily, wrapping my arms around him tightly.

He laughed and put his arms around me. "That's generally why they call it a surprise Ali Cat." He pulled away slightly. "Got you these as well," he said, holding up a bouquet of flowers.

They were a beautiful arrangement of yellow and purple irises and roses. "They’re beautiful Nerdy Boy!" I took them from him and ushered him inside as I made my way to the kitchen to put them in a vase. "Sorry about the mess, I wasn't expecting anyone."

He laughed. "That's quite alright, I figured I'd come see you first since it was on the way to the apartment, before I went home to pass out."

"You can sleep here if you want..." I chewed my lip and hoped he would take me up on my offer. I could cook dinner for him, just like the old days.

He smiled a lazy smile at me. "I don't want to impose."

"Please, it would make me feel a lot better to know you aren't killing yourself driving to Bella's old apartment." I batted my lashes at him, "Please?"

He nodded, "Alright, but I don't put what ever you were doing on hold for me okay?"

I smiled and shook my head, "I'm just cleaning, don't I look hot?" I asked, laughing as I twirled for him, showing off my look.

"I always think you're hot Ali Cat," he said sincerely.

"Really?" I asked, giving him a funny look.

"Yeah," he gave me a lopsided grin again, "Even when you think you're at your worst."

I tilted my head and felt the corner of my mouth turn up into a smile, "You're hotter."

He shook his head. "Nope, you win that contest."

I rolled my eyes, "Do you need lunch before you pass out?"

He shook his head, "No thank you."

"Okay," I gestured towards the bedroom. "Go on then."

He came over and kissed my cheek. "Thanks Ali..."

I kissed his cheek in response. "Sweet dreams."

I watched his back as he walked rather stiffly towards my bedroom, to sleep in my bed. Why is it that still makes me feel a bit like a little kid when I think about him between my sheets? It makes me wanna jump up and down and squeal with excitement. He pulled his shirt up over his head and I felt that heat in my stomach as I watched the way his muscles rippled.

My. God.

I shook my head so I would stop thinking about following that fine ass into bed and letting him really tucker himself out. Cleaning, cleaning, that's right I must clean.

~*~oOo~*~

Six hours and lots of junk later I was sitting and wondering if I should wake Jasper up from his nap. Was six hours enough? Would he be grumpy with me for waking him? Would he want to eat dinner?

I finally decided that he would probably enjoy a good meal and before going in to wake him I changed into a nice dress and brushed my hair. I walked into my bedroom and watched him sleep for a moment, he looked so harmless and peaceful sleeping like that.

First I tried to wake him by simply shaking his arm, but ended up having to climb on top of him to shake him by the shoulders. "N.B. get up..."

He smiled and shook his head. "No, I'm comfy," he pouted, his voice raspy from sleep.

"Don't you want something to eat?" I asked, tilting my head to look at him.

His lip twitched as he tried to fight a smirk. "Depends..."

"On?"

"What’s on the menu," he said as his hands ghosted along my thighs.

"Anything you want," I smiled at him.

"Anything?" he asked. I nodded quickly, wondering what he wanted to eat.

He quickly moved us so I was pinned under him. "Does that include... you?"

My eyes widened when I realized what he wanted to eat and I let out a surprised giggle. "If you want.. but did you break it off with Kelly?"

"Yes I did," he said as he moved up to kiss and nip at my neck.

"Mmm... then you can have me if you'd like," I purred, letting him take me.

He hummed against my neck. "I like."

~*~oOo~*~

The next morning was a Saturday and I was so grateful I didn't have to work. Jasper kept me up all night, and while I wasn't complaining, it made for an interesting morning. I put a pot of coffee on after I climbed out of the shower and went to get the newspaper from the door. By the time I made it back to the kitchen I saw a half-naked Jasper, apparently making something for breakfast.

"What'cha making?" I asked as I sat myself at the counter.

"Omelets," he smiled. "You still like 'em with tomatoes and extra cheese?"

"Yes I do," I smiled at the way his muscles flexed as he mixed.

"Good. Got any plans today?" I shook my head in response. "Wanna have lunch with me, and Peter and Char?"

"Sure..." I said with a small smile. I loved Peter and Charlotte, I actually maintained my friendship with them over the years, which was pretty funny considering how we met.

*~*~* January 1st, 2005 *~*~*

I smiled as I sipped the green sludgy cocktail they were serving. I couldn't wait til I got into college, they had parties for just about everything. Last night Jasper took me to new years party, and he took me to this one tonight celebrating the fact that we didn't get alcohol poisoning and die last night.

New Years had been great; Jasper, ever the strong protective boyfriend, watched over me for most of the night, dancing with me in a way that only people who were intimate could dance. Eventually, as with all the parties Jasper takes me to, we ended up grinding and making out, which led to other things once he took me back to his room.

My entire body tingled when I thought about what he did to me last night. My knees ached and my ass was sore, but it was completely fucking worth it.

I was shaking my hips lightly to the beat of the music that was playing and turned to look for my man so I could ask him to dance with me and maybe we could have repeat of the night before. I'd even wear the little plaid skirt he liked so much if he wanted me to.

I finally found him on the opposite side of the very large room, talking to some petite blonde wearing the skimpist pink top known to man and the tiniest little school-girl skirt. I could feel my heart thudding against my ribcage as I watched her lean closer to him and him begin to laugh. The bubble of anger, grief and jealousy popped and spilling it's icky green contents all over me.

Fuck this.

I downed my drink and walked over to the guy who was acting as the bartender and ordered up a few shots. They say you can drown your sorrows... but can they drown the fact that you'll always be second best to the guy you love?

~*~oOo~*~

A little while later my entire body felt loose and I felt good... really good. I was getting lots of attention, cat-calls and ass smacks as I table danced to ‘Yeah’ on an end table. Someone handed me another drink, which I downed in one gulp before I started shaking my ass again, making the table wiggle precariously under my weight.

"Ali Cat, what are you doing?" Jasper asked from my side, holding his hands up as if to catch me.

"Dancin'," I chirped, rolling my hips and reaching my hands above my head.

"You're gonna end up with a concussion," he gave me a pointed look.

"What do you care? Go back and talk to your new girlfriend." I tried to glare at him, but wasn't entirely sure I could scrunch up my face in the right manner with how loose and tingly my face felt.

"I only got one girl and she's about to fall flat on her ass."

"Then go help her!" I screamed at him, tripping and falling backwards, barely registering that I was falling before I felt something warm and a hell of a lot softer than the concrete floor catch me.

"I told you, you were gonna fall on your ass," he sighed. "Why are you so pissy Ali?"

"I saw you flirtin’ with that... girl..." I stifled a sob that threatened to escape.

"Baby, what girl?" He asked. "I wasn't flirting with anyone."

"That blonde girl in the tiny skirt and the pink shirt with the boobs and she made you laugh and..." I buried my face into his shoulder and cried, twelve years of never being good enough finally catching up to me.

He chuckled and tightened his grip on me. "Ali Cat... that was Char. She's Peter's girl."

"Why were you flirting with her then?" I asked feeling a little hysterical.

"I wasn't flirting! She was telling me a story about Peter."

"I wanna go home," I sobbed miserably.

"Alright," he sighed standing up and carrying me out the door, the sounds of people making out and moaning now drowning out the sound of music.

"I'm sorry..." the tears kept rolling down my cheeks I was unable to stop them.

"For what?" he asked.

"For crying... For ruining your fun night..." I mumbled, my stomach turning.

He pressed his lips to my hair. "Well how can I have fun if you're not having fun Ali?"

"You seemed to be havin’ fun," I mumbled bitterly.

He sighed, "I don't want to fight with you."

"Then..." my voice wobbled as I said my next words. "Break up with me then."

He stopped walking and looked at me. "Excuse me?"

"If you don't like me anymore just dump me Jazz, then you don't have to pretend anymore."

"What the fuck?" He shook his head and started walking faster. "I don't know what you drank tonight but you are cut off."

My mind was spinning and I felt this dull throb in my head right between my eyebrows. "I love you..." I whispered in a watery voice.

"I love you too, Alice."

"Do you?" I reached up and cupped his stubbly cheek.

He moved his head to kiss my palm and gave me a small smile. "Always have Ali Cat, always will."

"I'm sorry I got jealous..." I buried my hot face in his cool neck.

"Just promise me you won't start another table dance when you get jealous again. Unless its just for me," he teased.

"Did you get jealous?" I asked weakly. He nodded. "Why," I lifted my head so I could look at him through hazy eyes.

"Because out of all the shmucks in the world, for some reason you picked me. And to see them watching you... I know what they're thinking... feeling... hell, I'm thinking and feeling it too."

"And what's that?"

"That you look good up there, shaking and wiggling your hips and how good it is to have you doing that under me."

All the heat hit my crotch at once and I had the sudden urge to just hump him right here, in the middle of the street by the apartment building. "I need to fuck you Nerdy Boy..."

He smirked. "Hell yes you do, but we need to get you home and give you some water first."

I giggled and held on tighter as he ran up the stairs and unlocked the door. I was all excited and giddy and happy until Jasper sat me on the bed, then all that spinning and that pain between my eyebrows amplified and suddenly I felt like I was going to be sick.

I got up and ended up crawling towards the bathroom and barely made it to the toilet before everything I drank came bursting through my mouth. Lovely.

~*~oOo~*~

I heard the chirping outside and sat up, expecting pain or something hang-overish related that I had always heard about... and other than the room being too damn bright... I had nothing. I thought back to last night and cringed, I couldn't believe how jealous I got, or how drunk... I didn't even get laid.

I looked next to me in bed and saw my Nerdy Boy sleeping peacefully and smiled. He had taken care of me last night when I was sick. After kissing his cheek I decided to be nice and make him breakfast, since he had been so sweet to me the night before.

I walked into the deserted kitchen and I got the eggs and bacon and set to work making his favorite breakfast sandwich. It was a little weird to me to have a sandwich for breakfast, but they were good so I wasn't about to diss them. After I was finished I put the two sandwiches on a plate and grabbed some orange juice before heading back into 'our' room.

It was technically his room, but everyone calls it our room, so whatever. I sat the plate on the desk and stradled my sleep man. Oh hello morning wood. I smirked and rubbed myself against him making him moan in his sleep. I leaned forward and kept rubbing, whispering his name into his ear.

"Ali..." he warned, clearly not sleeping anymore. "Keep that up and I'm gonna cum in my shorts."

"Mmm," I ran my nose along his scruffy jaw. "Can't have that can we?"

He shook his head in response. "Wanna fuck?" I asked.

He opened his eyes to look at me. "Are you feeling better?" he asked as his hands made their way up under my shirt.

"Yes," I nodded, "now I am just really, really horny."

"Well that makes two of us," he smiled before pulling me down to him so he could kiss my neck. I sighed happily as his hands slid up my back. He moved his hands down again as his lips moved along my jaw. "Shirt..." he whispered huskily as he tugged at the hem.

I pushed my hands up and let him take my shirt off for me, leaving me half naked and in his face. He reached up and groped my tits, squeezing them while biting his lip as he looked up at me. He looked so sexy like that. My eyes rolled into the back of my head and my hips bucked against his stomach as he sucked a tightened nub into his mouth, licking and swirling with his tongue and sending fire straight to my groin.

He moaned against my skin before looking up at me. "Top or bottom baby?"

"I don't care as long as you're inside me... soon." I half moaned out, feeling every bit the wanton whore I sounded like.

His hand reached around the nightstand blindly as he continued to tease me with his lips. He groaned before pulling away so he could find what he was looking for. He smiled triumphantly when he found the sliver package.

I pushed myself up slightly, letting him remove his boxers to put the condom on as I pulled my own shorts off and straddled his stomach again. He grabbed my waist and gave me a slight half smile as he pulled me down onto his cock. I closed my eyes as I let the blissful sensation of him filling and stretching me wash over me.

After that his hands gripped my hips and we began rocking against each other, desperate for the sweet relief. Soon the only sounds in the room were our heavy breathing and moans whenever one of us hit a particularly good spot.

He moved us, laying me on my back as he brought my legs up onto his shoulders, moving his hips faster. I loved the feeling, the places he was hitting, sending endorphins throughout my body. I was so close, I reached my hand between us and started to vigoriously rub my engorged clit, sending tiny little bits of good feelings to my brain until I fell off the edge, moaning and crying with relief.

He started pounding harder into me, the muscles of his arms and jaw tensing as he pulled himself all the way out before thrusting himself deep into me. I gasped at the pain and pleasure mix as he moaned loudly into the air, his body tensing and releasing with the power of his orgasm.

He looked so sexy when he came. I ran my hand up his defined chest, up his neck and to his jaw, pulling his head down so I could kiss him.

He smiled against my lips. "Morning beautiful," he mumbled.

I let him pull away a little, "Morning! I made you breakfast!"

"You did?" he asked, moving to dispose of the condom.

"See?" I pointed towards the plate on the desk.

He put his glasses on and looked at where I was pointing. "Fried egg sandwiches?"

"With bacon!" I chirped.

He laughed and kissed me again. "Thank you Ali Cat."

"Thank you for taking care of my drunk ass last night..." I batted my eyelashes at him.

He laughed again. "Isn't that what I'm supposed to do? You've always taken care of me when I was sick."

"Yeah, but if I hadn't gotten jealous we wouldn't have even needed to do that."

He frowned slightly. "I still don't understand why you do."

"What, get jealous?" He nodded. "’Cause you're fucking sexy and smart, and I know that I'm not really all that great, and that you could do better, you know?"

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "There’s no way I could do better Ali, anyone else would be a downgrade." He shook his head, "why are we even talking about this?"

I smiled and kissed him, he always said the sweetest things. "Thank you baby."

"I love you Ali Cat..."

"I love you my Nerdy Boy." I smiled and twisted my hands into his hair, kissing him once more before letting him get up to eat.

~*~*~*~
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Chapter 24

APOV

The day Jasper left I got up early to see him off, we'd had an interesting night, that was for sure. I’d always known that Kelly was trying to be a new version of me, but I never really understood why, and now that I knew, I kind of felt bad for her. I knew what it was like to be in love with someone who was unattainable like Jasper, 'cause I had been there before. But at the same time, at least I felt really desired, maybe loved even because Jasper had really tried to get over me. He moved away trying to get me out of his head, the same thing I was trying to do, and he was just as unsuccessful as I was.

Even though it was probably the wrong thing to do, because he hadn't broken up with Kelly and I was supposed to be getting over Garrett, we made love. It was tender and warm and caring and just so many other things, it was all too much for me to process just yet.

I knew Jasper wanted to work things out with me, he wanted to try again with me, he still loved me. Do I let Jasper Whitlock, breaker of hearts and minds back into my life in that way? I looked around my room, the rumpled sheets and the smell of sex unmistakable. I guess I already had, without really realizing or acknowledging it, but I was in control of this time. Wasn't I?

I mean, it's not my fault that I couldn't control how my body reacted to him, but I could control how much power he had over me, right? I sighed and took another drink from my coffee. I still loved Jasper very much, and not having him in my life would hurt, a lot. Honestly, if Kelly somehow managed to get him to stay I would end up so brokenhearted I didn't exactly know what I would do.

It had been a few hours since I dropped him off at the airport and already a feeling of sadness and loneliness was beginning to set in. I put my cup in the sink and began cleaning my coffee pot when I heard my phone beep to let me know I received a text message.

I picked it up off the charging station and looked at the screen. It was from Jasper, I pressed the button to read it. Can I just turn around and forget my stuff in TN?

I smiled and pressed reply.

You'd break Em's heart if you didn’t get all those comic books.

Right, Comics. We just landed by the way.

I chuckled; glad you got there ok, do you miss me?

Yes, the sooner I do this, the sooner I get back right?

That made my heart flutter. Yeah, definitely. I miss you... and can still smell you.

I miss you too and I hope I smell good! I have to get a cab. Call you later?

Sure. I kissed the screen on my phone then added; I sent you a kiss too.

I expect more when I get back! Love you Ali Cat.

Love you 2. I smiled as I closed my phone. He didn't have to text, but he did. I chewed my lip as I considered what that could mean. Was he more serious this time? Would he freak out again if things got too serious?

I decided not to dwell on it too much and after calling Bella and Rosalie and telling them that we needed some girl time, I got ready for the day.

Mani’s-pedi’s and shopping, who could ask for more?

~*~oOo~*~

A few hours of walking around the Northgate Mall and we were beat. We found a nice little Greek food place to have lunch before our mani-pedis and everything was going well until Rosalie decided we should talk about more important things than Jimmy Choo and Dolche.

"Jazz gave you back the casserole dish, right?"

"Um..." had he? I thought about it for a moment. "Oh yeah, he did, I found it in the foyer after..." I stopped myself from saying anything else. I really didn't want to remember the shit Garrett said, or reveal how deep I was in with Jasper.

"After... what? You fucked him against another wall?" she joked.

I blanched, I hadn't told anyone about that, I glanced over at Bella who was reading the wine menu. "No, when Garrett and I broke up... and he told me he'd been doin' his assistant for three months because I was icy." I swallowed hard.

Bella gasped as Rose rolled her eyes. "No you're not. He was a sleaze ball anyway Ali... good riddance." Rose said with a shake of her head.

"Yeah..." I took a drink of my tea and studied Rosalie for a moment. "Who told you about the wall incident?" Incident, like it was a crime. Oh geez, Nerdy Boy rubbed off on me... in so many ways... God! Why am I such a perv?!

She laughed. "Who do you think?"

"Emmett? Of course, Nerdy Boy still tells him everything huh?" I sighed. "So what else did he tell Em?"

She shrugged. "You know the usual. He fucked up, doesn't know how to fix things. Still gets a hard on looking at your legs..."

Bella snorted at the last part. "So almost everything he tells Ed?" Rose nodded in response.

"Wait... what?" I asked, looking at Bella confused.

"I knew about him coming to Ed and asking what to do. Especially after your surprise engagement dinner. The legs thing," she shook her head and laughed, "he didn't tell Ed about that."

"Yeah, I would think not... Ed punched him once when were kids for looking at me in a bikini." I giggled a little, "So he really asked for their help to fix things?"

"Ed also tried to drown him," Rose added. "Yeah, he really did. Believe it or not Ali he still loves you."

"I know, he told me he still loves me..." I took a bite of my gyro. "But I mean who's to say that he won't do the same thing as before... when shit gets intense he bails. Or at least that’s the way it's always seemed to me."

Rose shrugged and picked at her salad.

"What if things are different now? Like, I remember he always seemed a little off. Emmett told me that Jasper was always afraid of the dark, afraid that it was because his parents loved him that they died..." Bella sighed. "What if he's finally realized there's nothing to be afraid of?"

I thought about it; he was a little unusual... but it didn’t matter, he had always been my Jasper, so I never put too much thought into it. "Maybe... I hope so," I sighed. "Does it sound stupid that I still want my fairytale happily ever after with him?"

"No," both Rose and Bella answered.

"If anyone deserves it I think you do," Rose said with a small smile.

"Thanks," I smiled back. "I keep thinkin' that maybe I should've stayed broken up with Garrett, you know?"

"Why's that?" Bella asked.

"Cause I wouldn't have had to go through all this, you know? I mean when Jasper sent me the letter..."

"I think this is just what you two needed. It gave my brother a good kick in the pants that's for sure."

"Wait, what letter?" Bella asked, ignoring Rose completely.

*~*~* February 14th 2008 *~*~*

It was my twenty-first birthday, and I was only kind of looking forward to going out that night. Bella, Ang, Rosie and the guys were determined to take me out and get me drunk for my birthday. I didn't really want to go either, not since Nerdy Boy left. I mean, he was the one who always seemed to make my birthdays special for me.

But I had a new boyfriend, Garrett, who was really sweet, and he was planning on going to this shin dig too so I figured why not? I had just moved into my gorgeous condo and was really proud of the fact I was buying something, and well, I guess I had lots to celebrate.

I went downstairs to check the mail, hoping for some birthday cards with cash. Childish yes, but it's still fun to get some spending money for simply being born. I turned the key and opened my mail cube to see a small package and a few cards waiting. I took them back upstairs before I looked to see who they were from.

Once I got upstairs I decided to open the package first. I picked it out of the pile and looked at the return address; who the fuck would send me something from Tennessee?

It couldn't be! I ripped the small box open to find a Polaroid picture confirming my suspicions; it was a photo of me and Nerdy Boy, cuddling, and from the date on the picture it was from two-thousand-and-two. The watch he got me was very cool; Ed Hardy, huh... looks like Nerdy Boy finally picked up a little fashion sense. I smiled at the watch and put it to the side before I picked up the letter, I was nervous, I had no idea what he would say to me after all this time. I reread the note at least a dozen times, it made me hopeful, depressed, nostalgic and sad all at the same time.

Why had he written this? Why had he made it seem like I was the one who cut him out and not the other way around? Why didn't he mention anything about the baby picture of Ryan I’d sent him?


I had so many questions and no way to get any answers.


I called Rosalie, there was no way I was going out after this. It rang a few times and she answered sounding breathless. "Hey Rosie?"


"Hey Ali, what's up?" she asked cheerfully.


"Um... I can't go out tonight," my voice cracked.


"What? Why? What's wrong?" she asked, slightly panicked.


"I got a letter from Jasper..." My voice was barely a whisper at this point. I was so close to completely breaking down.


"Whoa," she breathed. "Do you need me to come over? 'Cause I will."


"Yeah... please? I don't wanna be alone right now..."


"I'll be right there. Wanna talk to Em until I get there?" She asked and I could hear the sound of her grabbing her keys.


"No... I need to call Rhett... see you soon..." I said before I began sobbing.


"Alright, I'm on my way babe." I hung up and managed to gather enough courage to break it off with Garrett via text message. It's cold to do it that way, and definitely the pussy way to do things, but I couldn't talk and he deserved someone better than me, someone who was over their ex.

*~*oOo*~*

After my day with Rosie and Bella I went home exhausted and thrilled all at the same time. It felt good to talk about what was going on with my girls and we had fun shopping, well I had more fun than anyone else, and getting my nails done always worked to cheer me up a bit.

I hung up my all new clothes before getting dinner started. Dinner for one, I sighed, well, maybe soon it could be dinner for two.

I heard my phone begin ringing 'Hanging by a Moment,' and rushed to grab my phone. "Hey N.B.!" I chirped.

"Hi Ali... sorry I got you on speaker right now, just until I get the damn porcelain cleaned up." He sighed.

"Why? What happened?" Jasper wasn't normally a clumsy person.

"Well, I'm single again... and Nana's teapot is destroyed... Seriously she had to go for that?! She couldn't go for the expensive computer... fucking bitch."

"I take it she didn't take it well?" I sighed a little at his discomfort, wishing I could be there to cheer him up.

He chuckled. "Nope... actually no, she was okay with it until she saw the boxes with Forks printed on the mailing label. Then all hell broke loose."

"Why?" I was confused.

"I told her I was transferred..." he stopped for a minute as he banged something in the background. "Then she saw the boxes with the comics and asked if I was doing this for you."

"And?"

"I told her the truth. Yes and no. Yes, I'm going back because you're willing to give us another chance. And no, that wasn't the only reason. I told her that it made sense to be back in Washington. My family and friends are there. I have no one here," he chuckled darkly. "I'll give you two guess but you'll only need one to figure out how she took the last part."

"Really bad... So you told her? About us I mean."

"Yeah. I wasn't gonna lie to her Ali," he said softly with a sigh.

"What did she say?" I asked as I sat down.

"Does it matter?" he asked.

"You gonna start keepin’ things from me again?" I knew that was low, but I really wanted open, honest communication between us this time.

"No," his voice was closer now. "No. She was just saying shit that wasn't true. Said you were lying to me so you could get what you wanted. Stuff like that."

"Lying about what?" I asked with a laugh.

He sighed. "About how you felt."

"And what, in her opinion, is what I wanted?" I asked, arching my eyebrow. I seriously needed to get on a plane to cut a bitch.

He laughed. "Her unhappy, since you were jealous of what she had with me. I told her she was the one jealous of what you and I had but she told me I was blind to your ways."

I snorted, "Yeah, and that’s why I was out bleaching my hair and using spray on tan right?" I rolled my eyes. "Please tell me you told her to shove it up her ass and leave?"

He laughed. "She's gone, if that's what you wanted to know. I had to call a guy from work to come get her, but she's gone."

"Whoa, you had to call someone to force her to leave?" Girl really is a psycho!

"It's not as bad as it sounds Ali... It was more so I didn't hurt her. She was going for mom's things..."

"What gives her the right to do that to you?" I felt outraged.

"Because she couldn't touch our stuff, I left our box at Bella's," he sighed again. "I don't know. All I know is I'm getting the fuck out of here as soon as possible."

"I don't blame you... is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

He laughed a little. "Not unless you could just show up like now?"

"I wish... I miss you so much... and I am still walkin' funny," I said with a giggle.

"Damn girl... and to think I didn't even fuck you the way I used to," he teased. "I miss you too Ali."

"Oh God," I didn't mean to moan that. "The way you used to fuck me... I still touch myself when I think about it," I teased right back.

"You gonna show me that when I get back right?" His voice deepened when he asked that.

"If you want me to," I bit my lip to restrain the girly giggle.

"Fuck yes I want you to," he groaned. "Damn it Ali I have to pack not jerk off."

I let the giggle out, "Aww Nerdy Boy... I'm sorry. I'll stop, I can't wait 'til you come back and show that you really can make me walk funny."

He laughed. "Yes, I'll show you alright. Baby, I gotta go finish packing up," he said sadly.

"Call me when you take rest stops and stuff?" I asked hopeful.

"Of course. Get some sleep Ali Cat, one of us has to."

"I'll be thinkin' of you... Will you be okay?" I asked, worried about him not sleeping on his way home.

"Yeah, I'll be fine Ali. I'm gonna take my meds don't worry. I love you."

My heart skipped, I swear it did. "I love you... Be safe."

"Of course. Night Ali."

"Night," I said before closing my phone and hugging it to my chest. Maybe things really would change for the better this time.

~*~
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Chapter 22

APOV

A few days after Jasper announced that he was moving back to town – a fact which he told me before anyone else… which, frankly, came as a shock to me – Garrett came home.

I was definitely planning going to break off the engagement, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to break up with him totally or not, because I mean, how would it look? My Ex comes back to town and suddenly I dump my boyfriend?

I asked Garrett to come over to my place and I think we might've gotten our signals mixed up because the second he arrived he was all over me, kissing and touching me with meaning. I pulled away, trying to hint to him that we seriously needed to talk. He wasn't listening, instead he kept on kissing and nibbling on my neck while groping me. We'd been in this situation before, sometimes he just gets really horny being away from me and wants me so much that he can't help himself. But I was starting to get worried, I had definitely told him to stop, that I wanted to talk and even pushed against him a few times.

What the hell?

Before I could freak out too much, Garrett finally moved away from me. I felt relieved until I realized that he didn't willingly move of his own accord.

"Let the lady talk," Nerdy Boy said while shoving Garrett slightly. I gaped at him, then at the open door, had Garrett left that open?

"Why the fuck are you here?" He glared at Jasper.

"My sister asked me to drop something off for her. Someone left the door open and I heard Ali telling someone to stop. Would you want an attacker hurtin' her?" Jasper challenged.

Garrett just glared, "Um..." I cleared my throat, getting their attention. "Rhett, I don't think we should get married right now..."

Garrett gaped at me, "What? Why baby? Are you having second thoughts, everyone has those, it'll go away," he said, edging closer to me.

"No," I shook my head. Garrett stared, then narrowed his eyes before looking between me and Jasper.

"This is cause of him isn’t it? You're doin this because the asshole who left you while you were fucking pregnant came back?" I shook my head in protest, but he wasn’t listening. "Fuck you! Just so you know, I've been fucking Katie, my assistant for the past three months. I was hoping marriage would thaw that icy exterior of yours, but I guess not. Have a nice life." He spat, turning and walking out the front door while I tried to catch my breath.

He'd been cheating on me? For three months? Three whole months?!

OhmyGod, I was just trying to put off the engagement till I figured things out. Did he just break up with me? My knees buckled and I suddenly felt the wood of my floor under them just as the hot tears rushed down my cheeks. "How could he?!" I wailed. I felt Jasper's presence as he wrapped me in his arms, pulling me to him as I cried.

I clung as he cradled me in his arms and carried me into my room and laid me on the bed before he rushed out of the room, but before I could wonder where he was going I heard the front door shut and lock. When he returned he laid down next to me and pulled me close.

"I'm sorry Ali Cat," he whispered into my hair as he gently rubbed my back.

"Three months?" I sounded as miserable as I felt.

"Want me to kick his ass?" he offered.

"Yes," I sobbed, "Actually no, but it felt good to say yes."

He chuckled softly. "Can I kick his ass and call it a science experiment?"

I couldn't help but laugh at that, N.B. and his science experiments.

*~*~* November 11th 2003 *~*~*

We laid on our sides on his standard issue, extra long twin bed. I was glad that Edward was off someplace with Bella and not here at the college, because I knew that if he were anywhere near campus Jasper would not be touching me the way he was. His palm rubbing circles into my stomach as his fingers ghosted along the waistband of the WU sweats I was wearing, completely distracting me from watching the hotness that was Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnett on the TV screen.

It had been a while since I’d been anywhere near to being this close to him, but right now, I could feel the bulge in his jeans perfectly up against the crack my ass, which in and of itself was completely distracting.

With every stroke of his hand I felt myself getting incredibly turned on, especially when I noticed it getting lower and lower with each circle he made. I bit my lip hard to keep from moaning out when the tips of his fingers finally made their way inside the sweats, I felt my nipples stiffen completely of their own accord. I pushed back into him, rubbing my ass against his rigid dick. His hand stopped moving and he pressed his palm flat, his fingertips barely an inch from the top of my thong panties.

My eyes flickered back to the screen just as the infamous sex in the parachutes scene was happening. I realized I was still rubbing my ass against him when I heard him groan and felt him pressing into me with a roll of his hips. I almost smiled from how smug and sexy I suddenly felt.

“You like this scene I take it?” I said a little breathlessly, “I didn’t think it was that hot.”

“And why not?” he asked, sounding insulted.

“Cause, like, they aren't doing very much.”

“And you base this opinion on?” he asked, leaning over my shoulder a little.

“I guess it's like romantic…” I shrugged, trying to be nonchalant about his hand down my pants. “But I've kissed hotter than that.”

“Have you now?” Was it just me or did he sound smug as he said that?

“I have.” I rubbed my ass against him again, just to let him know I did indeed mean with him.

“Perhaps for scientific purposes we need to have an um…” He cleared his throat. “Experiment. I mean it could be that maybe that Josh kid aint your type.” He gently ran his fingers across my lower abdominals. Josh Hartnett is everyone's type, but crap, with him touching me like this. Josh who?

“A scientific experiment huh? And who would you say is my type then?” I asked playfully as I leaned back into him.

I felt him shrug, “I don't know Ali.”

Seriously, he doesn't know? I rubbed my ass harder against him, “You don't know?”

“I uh... I don't know your type?” he sounded distracted.

“Well what's your type?”

“What does that have to do with the experiment? That’s an outside variable that has no relevance to your hypothesis.”

I sighed, “Okay so what did you want to prove with your scientific experiment?”

“Technically it's yours. But you're saying that because they aren't doing much in that scene that it's not hot. Romantic yes, hot no. Correct?” I nodded in response. “Well based on that hypothesis, if you will, you should experiment.” I turned my head to see him blushing slightly. “Maybe trying to just have one simple act with maybe me, only cause we're here now of course, and see if your hypothesis is correct.”

I rolled onto my back, “Wanna dumb that down for me Doogie?”

He shook his head and smiled at me, “You're not dumb Alice. I was just trying to say that maybe we could test your theory…” He bit his lip, he looked really cute when he did that.

“With you?” I asked with a small squeak and a blush.

“Well I mean, sure if you want. I just figured, you know since we're here you could use me if you want.” He gave me a rather sexy half smile.

“Okay,” I agreed a little breathless. Crap, I didn't mean to sound like that. “Um... we should like listen to music or something right?”

“Yes! Of course! Shit, I mean yeah, hold on.” He got up to get the stereo remote. “Uh, anything in particular?” he asked rubbing the back of his neck.

I chewed my lip as I considered it, he had much better musical taste than me. “Lifehouse is supposed to be all romantic sex music right?”

“Sex?” His voice broke and squeaked.

I sat up on my elbows, “You…” Are you a virgin? Wait, that's none of my business. I cleared my throat. “I mean um... like I'm a virgin of course, but like... I dunno…”

“I, uh, wouldn't know.” He shook his head and put the disk in. “No, Lifehouse is good.” He said with a nod and I flopped back onto the bed. My Nerdy Boy was still a virgin? This place was crawling with slutty girls and somehow he'd managed to bypass them all? I heard the soft melody float out from the speakers just before I felt the bed next to me shift and he laid down next to me. I turned to look at him and he looked into my eyes and brushed my hair behind her ears. “You sure about this?”

I chewed my lip out of nervousness. “If you want to, I mean it is my experiment after all.”

“Right.” He said with a smile, after he took his glasses off, he cupped my cheek and brushed his thumb across my lips. His eyes darted up from my lips after a minute and he stared intensely into my eyes. It was all too much, he leaned in then whispered, “Breathe Ali,” I didn't even know I had been holding my breath. He pressed his lips against mine and everything but him and his lips fell away.

The sensation was mind numbing, I wrapped my arms around his neck and laced my fingers through his hair as he deepened the kiss, his tongue massaging mine gently. Without removing his lips, he moved himself so that he was between my thighs, leaning his weight on his forearms. Our kiss went from sweet to frenzied very quickly, I arched my back so I could press myself against him, earning a groan and a grind of his hips into mine.

I felt him shift to lean his weight on one arm as his hand slid up the front of my tank and groped me through my bra. I moaned into his mouth. With that he rolled us so I was on top of him and took advantage of this to wiggle my hips into his very obvious erection while kissing him, both of us moaning into the other’s mouth at the feeling. He moved his hands behind my back and struggled a little with the clasp on my bra before getting it undone, I broke our kiss to pull the bra off and out from under my tank.

My eyes met his half-lidded grayish-blue ones. His breathing was labored, as I felt my chest heaving, I leaned back down to recapture his lips. The minute he palmed the flesh of my breasts in his hands and squeezed them gently I sat back up arching my back and grinding my now soaked center into his arousal. He took advantage of this opportunity to roll us again so I was on my back and my stomach was bared, locking eyes with me he lowered his head and left wet, open mouthed kisses on my skin as he continued to knead my left breast with his left hand, his right hand pushing my shirt higher as he kissed his way higher.

“Jasper!” I moaned out as he took one of my hardened nipples into his mouth and gently sucked. “Ohmygawdd.” I whined, fisting his hair in my fingers as he gently ran his teeth against it. He moved a little so that his erection was now against my hip and the thumb of his left hand was rubbing against my bottom lip as his mouth teased my left nipple distracting me from his right hand that was journeying south.

My head fell back and I moaned, my mind going blank as one of his long fingers slid in between my wet folds and he softly rubbed my clit, making my stomach knot. Shit, it feels so good to have him touch me. I fisted his flannel sheets as I tried desperately to regain conscious thought. He continued his soft grazing with his finger as I moved my hand so I could touch the lean muscles of his side under his shirt.

“Jasper, take off your clothes, please?” I begged, my voice barely above a whisper. He stopped what he was doing to sit on knees next to me and pulled off his shirt, his muscles rippling as he did so. Jasper might be a geek, but he is one sexy as fuck geek.

He looked at me, his eyes smoldering as I too pulled my shirt off. “Better?” he asked.

I pouted a little at him and hooked my fingers into the waist band of his jeans and tugged lightly. “I wanna touch you too.” I told him, pleading with my eyes. I wanted him to think of me as more than just Edward’s kid sister and his best chick friend. I wanted him to desire me, the way I desired him, to love me the way I loved him.

He looked at me, his eyebrows furrowed as he chewed his lip. Well fuck, he isn’t saying no, he just looked unsure. I sat up on my knees and locked eyes with him while I popped the button and unzipped his jeans, pushing them down to his knees. I broke eye contact and watched him as he moved to pull the jeans off and toss them on the floor, noticing the head of his penis straining against the waistband of his boxers. I swallowed hard and met his eyes again as I slid his boxers down, his cock springing free and lightly smacking against my chest because of how close I was.

I heard his breathing hitch as I wrapped my hand around as much of him as I could and started to stroke his velvety soft skin. Not breaking eye contact I lowered my mouth and licked the underside of his dick, leaving a wet kiss on the plump head. His eyes grew wide and his breathing became shaky as I opened my mouth as wide as I could and wrapped my lips around the head, my hand still pumping him. I didn’t know shit about giving head, other than your supposed to suck, so suck I did.

“Oh fuck,” He groaned, his hips thrusting forward a little. His reaction was getting me even more worked up, I wanted him to keep on touching me, but I knew his sweatpants I was currently wearing were getting in the way. I stopped what I was doing, stripped them and my panties off, flinging then into the pile with his jeans.

I looked back up just as he cupped my face and kissed me gently, pushing me so my back was against the sheets again. My heart started to hammer in my chest as I realized we were both naked, together, and kissing, and if he tried to pop my cherry I wasn’t going to stop him. He broke the kiss and began kissing and licking his way down my neck while his hands ghosted my sides and grabbed my hips rather roughly when his lips met my navel, his tongue lightly flicking out and made me moan when I realized what he was planning on doing.

He spread my thighs and situated himself between my legs, looking up at me as he lowered his face and licked me gently, almost teasingly. I fisted the sheet and fell back onto the bed as I felt that knot in my stomach tighten up again. His tongue found my clit as he slid one of his long fingers into me, a slight stab of pain running through me as he pumped and sucked on my clit. I moaned from the pain and pleasure, and from how good he was with his mouth. I held on to the sheets hard to keep from pressing his face further into my crotch as he slid a second finger into me and picked up tempo, licking and sucking my nub like a pro.

My legs were shaking as I got closer, the pressure in my belly intense, but there seemed to be no relief in sight. “Jas-purr,” I panted, “Please, fuck me. Please.” I begged, knowing that from everything I heard, it would feel really, really good right about now.

He lifted his head and looked at me. “Okay... wait, shit... your brother… Ali, he'll kill me.”

“You planning on telling him? Cause I sure as fuck ain't.”

“Well no, I just mean,” He nodded his head in the direction of a jar of condoms on the desk. “He counts those before he leaves and when he returns.” Well shit, fucking Edward and his random OCD ways. I almost laid back and told him to do it without one, I was on the pill for my skin anyway, but then I remembered. Chewing my lip while looking at him I reached over the side of the bed and pulled out the condom they gave me at school yesterday during the safe sex assembly.

“They gave these out at school yesterday.” I told him quietly, holding up the yellow plastic wrapped condom. He raised an eyebrow at me and smirked.

“And you thought you'd need it.” Shit, now he knows I was hoping, praying really, for something to happen.

“I didn't wanna leave it in my room at home.” I looked down because I couldn’t lie looking into his eyes like that.

“Hey,” I felt his finger under my chin, forcing me to look at him. He smiled at me gently, looking so damn cute, I almost forgot we were both naked. “Do you really want this? I mean this is a big step.”

“Were you not just fingering me like two minutes ago? Can you not tell how much I want it?” I asked him, giving him an eyebrow, he smiled at me.

“I'm just checking jeez.” He looked away and chewed on his lip. Wait what if he didn’t want me?

“You don't have to if you don't want me.” I told him softly, hoping I could hold back the tears if he did reject me. His eyes shot back over to me as he gave me an eyebrow.

“I want you, Alice.” That’s new. I thought, but decided to not over think and just go with it. I licked my lips and tried my best to give him an alluring look.

“Then take me Jazz.” I said in a husky voice. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine, taking the condom from my hand. He broke our kiss to unroll the condom over his member and position himself at my entrance, I could feel myself tense up a little in anticipation. He must have sensed it too because he leaned down and kissed me passionately, making me relax as he thrust himself into me, causing both of us moan in unison.

It was definitely a different experience, having him stretching me out. It didn’t hurt that badly though, I mean it was a little uncomfortable at first, but as he started to thrust in and out, and I moved my hips to meet his, that coil in my stomach wound tighter and tighter.

He rolled us so that we were both sitting, and I was in his lap with him still sheathed inside of me. I reached over his shoulders and grabbed the top of the headboard as his hands found purchase on my hips and helped me move on him, drawing me closer to the edge and I wanted it so badly. I bucked harder as his lips kissed and nipped anywhere he could reach.

“God Jazz… so good…” I managed to pant out, bucking even harder as his hips thrust up to meet mine, his mouth finding the soft spot behind my ear and sucked lightly on it, sending me crashing over the edge. I moaned his name in a voice I had never heard before and heard him groan my name against my chest as he came a few seconds after me, pulling my body close as he trembled from the power of his own orgasm.

When we came down, he pulled out and trashed the condom, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close to him. I rested my chin on his chest and stared at the perfection that was his face, he looked back at me and gave me a little half smile before kissing me gently. “You’re beautiful you know that?”

He was so sweet, I had to fight the urge to blurt out that I was in love with him and doodled Mrs. Jasper Whitlock on most of my notebooks. “Not compared to you.” I told him, being as honest as I could.

He smiled, “Nah, I pale in comparison,” he said and bit his lip.

I rolled my eyes, but before I could argue I yawned. “Whatever.” I finally said.

He wrinkled his nose, “I ruined it huh?”

“Nah.” I hugged him. “That was…”

He kissed my shoulder. “Amazing?” he offered.

“Yeah." I sounded breathless again. "It wasn't what I expected.”

He nodded, “Yeah…”

“Are.. I mean, were you a virgin?” He didn't answer, he just blushed. “Jazz?” He diverted his eyes and nodded. “I'm sorry I didn't know, you…” Crap. I felt my face get hot and I couldn't look at him anymore. So I looked down at the sheet. “You were probably saving yourself huh? And then... I…” seduced you. Holy... am I that girl? I buried my face into his side. “Oh gawd.”

He laughed at that. “No, Alice it's okay.”

Is it really? Is he just saying that? Did he really like it? What does this make us now? Does he expect it again... “God I am just thinking about way too much right now, I need to, like, shut my head up.” He kissed me, softly but filled with passion, it definitely shut my head up. “So did you, uh, wanna do it again? Like sometime?” I asked, feeling stupid.

“How about this, we let things go naturally, like, no pressure?” He blushed before adding, “I mean if you want to do it again I'm not gonna complain.”

I kissed him again, another slow passionate kiss. “I could go again, right now.” He looked at me like I was crazy. Okay or not. “Just kidding.” I lied.

“We will again,” another kiss, “I promise.”

“Sooo um… you want me to buy the condoms and I'll hide them in my bag and bring them with me when I come up here?”

He blushed again. “Nah, I'll get them.” He looked down and smiled shyly, “You just make sure your here for me to use them, ‘kay?”

I nodded, trying my best not to explode with happiness. “How are you gonna hide them from E?”

“He stays out of my bio stuff.” He waggled his eyebrows like Emmett did when he was getting into trouble.

“I love the way your mind works!” I squealed and kissed him hard on the mouth.

“That's why it’s good to keep a nerd nearby,” he said with a smirk.

“You’re my sexy as fuck nerd.”

He kissed my forehead, “I think you need to sleep silly Ali.”

“You don't want me to get dressed first?”

“Shit, good point... Here,” he reached for his shirt that was crumpled up on the floor. Inside I was squealing with delight.

“And hand me just the sweatpants too... if Em randomly shows up again... Yeah.”

“Good point again.” He smiled and handed me the sweatpants I had been wearing earlier.

Well that takes care of me... “Um as much as I love your naked body, shouldn't you put something on too?”

He blushed, “I was going to.” He sounded defensive, I just smiled at him as he pulled a clean pair of sweatpants on. “Better?”

I looked down and could see the outline of his cock. I wiggled to ease the want a little and giggled. “You’re naked under the sweatpants.” Oh God now I sound like a kid.

He crawled next to me on the bed and smirked. “So are you Ali,” he said before tickling my sides softly. I giggled a little more before pushing his hands up to my breasts.

“Yep totally commando…” I winked at him. “In case you feel the urge to molest me during the night.”

His face went scarlet. “I'll keep that in mind.”

“Wanna join me in the shower tomorrow?” Since I already made myself sound like a wanton whore for him already.

“Well it is a co-ed shower.” He agreed, sounding a little confused.

Oh crap, he so didn't understand what I meant, my face got hot again as I said, “Like, be in me?”

“I... yeah... I mean... wow... but anyone could find us.” He stammered.

“We'll lock the door... and it's Sunday, we'll go in all early before anyone gets up.”

He bit his lip and nodded before burying his face in my hair. “You're a little minx aren’t you?”

Oh geez. My face got hotter. “Only around you, I really like you Jazz.”

“I really like you too Ali.” He pulled me closer to him.

That made me happy, really happy. I yawned again. “Did you wanna watch another movie?”

“If you want it'd just be background noise for me you know that.”

I guess he was tired too. I shook my head, “Just music.”

He kissed my temple. “Get some sleep baby, we got an early morning.” He said before pulling the chain on his table lamp and sending us into near darkness.

“’Kay.” I smiled huge, I was getting my Nerdy Boy. I looked over at him and watched as he closed his beautiful eyes. I love you.

~*~*~
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Chapter 20

Disclaimer: We are not nor have we ever claimed to be Stephenie Meyer or the owners of The Twilight Saga and its characters. We are merely two girls with an idea and words on a screen.

~*~*~*~*~*~
APOV:

I was torn, very torn. Garrett was in Tokyo, playing the good fiancé, calling me every night to check in with me while I was trying to seduce my ex into staying.

There really is a spot in hell with my name on it.

I sighed as I put my groceries away, it had been a relatively easy day at work so I had gotten to go home early, but going home early also meant I had more time to think, and time to think for me right now was probably a bad thing.

Jasper, my Nerdy Boy – who grew into a really hot Forensic Investigator – was coming over for dinner tonight. Again. It was becoming a nightly occurrence. He'd come over and kiss me on the cheek, we'd eat and drink wine and then I'd make an ass of myself by trying to get him to sleep with me, only to have him actually sleep with me, in my bed, without doing anything.

Tonight I was making him steak. He used to really like them, hopefully he still did. I heard a knock at the door just as I putting the potatoes in the oven and rushed to answer it. It was Jasper who had a big smile and held a nice bottle of red wine.

"Hey NB." I grinned at him and received my peck on the cheek.

"Hi Ali Cat. How was work?" he asked as he followed me in.

"Slow, how was yours?"

"Surprising actually."

"Really? What happened?" I asked as I followed him through to the dining room.

"I got a job offer," He shrugged as if it was nothing.

I was confused, "A job offer?"

He nodded. "Apparently they need a certain kind of tech on graveyards and I happen to be a jack of all trades."

"Really?" I couldn't hide my excitement. "Are you gonna take it?"

He finally smiled and nodded his head. "Yes, I took it. I mean, the only reason why I was staying in Tennessee was because of my career and now, I don't have that excuse anymore."

"What about Kelly though?"

"I'm gonna end it with her. I'm not in love with her, or even happy..." he shrugged, "what's the point?"

"That's true," I nodded, if he breaks up with her... wait Alice, don't go down that road. That road leads to nothing but hurt. But he's not leaving this time! I argued with myself. "Um. I made you steak," I smiled, changing the subject.

"Yum," He smiled back. "Do you need help with anything?"

"No," I shook my head and smiled. I could always count on him to offer.

"Will you at least let me do the dishes this time?" he teased. "I feel like, I'm being ungrateful."

"Sure, you can do the dishes," I agreed, walking back into the kitchen to think about the things he had told me. Jasper was going to stay here, well, not here, here, but back in Washington. Holy crap.

*~*~* February 5th, 2005 *~*~*

I was packing my stuff, getting ready for another weekend with the love of my life. Oh Nerdy Boy... how I adore thee. I found myself smiling like an idiot as I perfected my makeup in the mirror. I heard the sound of a knock downstairs and was rather perplexed by it, my parents were out of town and the guys were at the apartment.

I ran downstairs and opened the door, expecting a salesperson, but that wasn't who it was.

"Hey... I was just getting ready to go over and see you." I told my Nerdy Boy, he looked sad about something.

"I came to say good bye Ali Cat," He looked down at his shoes. "I didn't want you to get there and expect to see me."

I looked at him confused, he's saying goodbye? "Where are you goin’?"

He shrugged. "Texas I think. I just need to get out of here."

"Can I go with you?" I asked, I didn't want to be left behind, I just wanted to be with him.

"Ali Cat... I'm not coming back," He looked up at me. "You've got Ed and your parents. I can't ask you to leave them behind."

"So you're just gonna leave me? After everything?" My voice cracked.

He sighed. "I don't want to Ali..."

"Then take me with you, I love you, I don't wanna live without you, they'll all understand I'm sure of it!" I pleaded, my eyes filling with tears.

"Baby don't cry," He pulled me to him, holding me close. "You really want to do this?"

"I just wanna be with you." I told him, looking up at him as I fisted his shirt in my hands.

He nodded. "Alright... but you have to listen to me okay? If I say no about something please don't fight it."

I sighed heavily, "Okay. Can I go get my stuff?"

He smiled slightly. "Yeah grab what you need."

"Okay," I jumped up and kissed him before running quickly back up the stairs. Grabbing my bags that I had already packed, plus a few extra items before writing a note to my parents explaining everything to them and running back down the stairs.

Nerdy Boy wasn't there. I tried to not think too much about it as I ran out the front door, breathing a sigh of relief when I saw him opening the hatch of the Santa Fe he drove. I turned around, shut and locked the front door before I walked over to him, all my luggage in hand.

"I was scared you left me," I admitted.

"Nah, just making room," He smiled taking my bags from me. "Don't you want your pillow? I think we might do some camping in the back of this thing... to save money."

"Oh yeah..." I turned and ran back into the house, taking the steps two at a time before I grabbed my pillow, my dance shoes and all the money from my piggy bank. I ran back downstairs and grabbed a loaf of bread and some other goodies before going out the front door again, making sure to lock up after myself. "How's this?" I asked, showing him the stuff I had piled into plastic grocery bags.

He laughed and shook his head. "Good thinking Ali Cat." He took the bag with food and put it next to a cooler. "If you want you can keep your pillow up front. Might need it along the way," He shrugged.

"Okay," I smiled happily and skipped over to the passenger side of the car, pushing my pillow into the seat next to me and buckling up as I waited for him to get into the car. "Where to first Nerdy Boy?"

He shook his head as he buckled in. "I don't know honestly..." He looked at me and smiled. "Where do you want to go?"

"Um... Yellowstone!" I giggled like mad and he smiled sweetly at me.

"Maps are in the glove box, captain." I saluted him and found the U.S. road-map, and happily began trying to pick out the best route. Nerdy Boy wasn't leaving without me, he was taking me with him, he wanted me with him. My heart soared.

~*~oOO~*~

That first night we stayed in a hotel, we ate McDonalds, played games, watched a movie, and fucked. It was amazing. I loved falling asleep with him, waking up with him and knowing it was just us and nothing else mattered.

The next day we made it to the eastern state line, and decided to camp, it seemed like fun. I watched from the small campfire Jasper made as he moved things to the front of the SUV and made a bed for us in the back. "What do you wanna eat tonight?" I asked, tilting my head a little as I watched his ass wiggle around in the back of the car.

"What do we got?" he asked looking over his shoulder at me.

"Um," I looked down from his ass to the cooler and bag of food at my feet. "We have stuff for soup... and chicken...we should make the chicken before it goes bad." I advised.

"Sounds good..." he backed up, put his hands on his hips looking inside the car. "This should be interesting..."

"What should?" I asked, grabbing the pan and putting the chicken inside before topping it with some BBQ sauce.

He closed the hatch before coming over towards me. "Sleeping in the car, I might need you to bust my knee caps," he joked.

"No way," I shook my head with a smile, "maybe you should just spoon me."

"Oh trust me baby, I was planning on it," He smiled at me as he sat down. "What kind of chicken are you making?"

"Barbeque... or tryin’ anyway... it's not quite the same without a grill, but I think it'll be good." I smiled at him. "Should we have some veggies to go with it?"

He nodded, "Might as well right?"

"Yeah... so what we havin'?" I asked, wiggling in my seat and pulling the coat around me more.

He looked in the bags, "We got corn and potatoes..."

"Corn!" I said happily.

He laughed and pulled the ears of corn out. "Here, get the stuff off that one, I'll get the foil ready."

I smiled at him and did as I was told, stroking the cob when I was done and making him laugh at me. "I got your cob ready, sir," I said with a wink.

He chuckled and wrapped it in the foil. "Didn't your mother tell you not to play with your food?" He teased as he got the other ear wrapped and placed them both in a different pot on the fire.

"Yeah, but then I play and gobble up your cock all the time so it must've confused me," I responded in the most innocent voice I could manage.

He laughed and shook his head. "You cold?" he asked, noticing my jacket.

"A little," I admitted. It was the beginning of February after all.

"Come here," he held his arms open for me and I happily crawled into his lap.

"Hey Jazz?"

He wrapped his arms around me. "Hmm?"

"Were you hoping I'd want to come with you?"

"Yeah," he said softly. "But I didn't want you to give up everything for me."

"You should know better than that... you are everything to me." I turned slightly and cupped his cheek with my hand.

He gave me a small smile, moving his head to kiss my palm. "But I'm no one Ali..."

"You're everything to me..." I said again, smiling at him.

"And you're the only thing that matters to me," he said softly before pressing his lips to mine. I deepened the kiss almost instantly. Tugging and fisting his hair with one hand while the other ran under his shirt and along his abs.

He groaned, pulling himself from me. "Ali Cat... save some for desert."

I giggled, "I love you, Nerdy Boy."

"Love you too, Ali Cat."

The next day I found myself at work, thinking once again about Jasper and Garrett. I loved Jasper, my whole heart belonged to him, I always knew this, I gave it to him when I was six years old and he never gave it back. But I promised myself to Garrett, I loved Garrett, in a completely different way than I loved Jasper but still.

Garrett was dependable, loyal, affectionate... crap I'm describing a dog.

Is that what Garrett deserved? To be treated like a dog?

Could I really give up Jasper? I mean, every part of my body longed for him; for his touch, for him to fill me, for his embrace.

I couldn't give up Jasper, but I also didn't fully trust him not to up and leave me again, not when I still didn't understand why he even left in the first place.

So what do I do? Give up the sure thing that my head is telling me to stay with, or go with my heart and possibly get burned again?

~*~*~
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Chatper 16

Disclaimer: All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.
~*~*~*~

APOV

Jasper kissed me, and Garrett caught us. I felt guilty that Garrett caught us, but I was also confused. That kiss told me I still loved Jasper, there was still that chemistry between us even without the sexual tension, I mean, I guess the tension was still there but we'd definitely resolved it the other night.

That kiss was just different, it told me that not only did I still love Jasper and it was definitely more than the sex. But now I was sure he still loved me too.

And by that I mean not the first love you haven't gotten over kind of love. Yep, it's safe to say right now I am sitting between a rock and a hard place, well no actually I was sitting between Nerdy Boy and Rhett, but you get what I mean.

I held Garrett's hand with my right hand; it was safe, comfortable, reliable, trustworthy. I held Jasper's hand with my left; passionate, sexy, unpredictable, protective. Jasper's thumb grazed the skin on the back of my hand which made me look over at him and smile, he smiled right back, his eyes saying things his lips dared not repeat. I felt a twinge of hope and decided I should talk to Garrett, put off the engagement... figure all of this out.

I looked over just as Garrett smiled brightly at me, and announced happily to the table that we had an announcement to make. He pulled me up out of my chair to stand beside him, I quickly let go of Jasper's hand so that no one would see that we had been holding hands.

I was confused, what was Garrett talking about? "What are you doin'?" I asked as quietly as I possibly could, Garrett smiled at me, but something was a little off in his eyes.

"We're getting married!" He blurted out as I smiled at everyone, trying to hide the confusion I felt at this moment. Dear Lord why did he have to announce it now of all times? I just decided to postpone things, now I couldn't, I didn't want people to think badly of me for having second thoughts about someone who loved me as much as Garrett did over a guy who left with without a second thought five years ago.

Someone who moved on so quickly when I was still nursing my broken heart.

*~*~* July 4th 2007 *~*~*

I combed my hair into a ponytail, high on the back of my head and looked at myself in the mirror.

Disgusting. Yeah, he'll really want you lookin' like this.

I sighed and began putting on a little make-up before pulling on the nice wrap dress I had purchased just for this occasion. Unfortunately, I still had forty pounds to lose since having Ryan. I hated the way it made me look, mainly because it was in all the worst places.

I chewed my lip as I regarded myself in the mirror. Today was the day I was going to get some answers, I pulled the slip of paper from my purse that Rosalie had written down Jasper’s new address on, clutching it in my hand as I walked out of the hotel room and into the humid Tennessee air.

It was one of those days where the younger, more energetic me would've walked or skipped happily to his new place, but now I was talking a cab, I didn't have the energy or the motivation to walk.

Jasper now lived in a three story brick building, if the numbers were correct he lived in a second floor unit. I studied the address for a moment before climbing up the worn wooden stairs, grasping the iron handrail and slowly walking towards his apartment. The door I was headed for opened and I stopped all forward movement when I saw a dark haired woman walk out just ahead of Jasper... my Nerdy Boy... and their hands were linked. He wasn't looking in my direction at all, if he even so much as moved his head to see ahead of him he would've seen me, but the lady he was with distracted him.

It felt like someone gripped my heart in their fist and was holding tightly as I saw him look at her and they began to laugh, I could see the happy twinkle in his eye even from where I was standing. I ducked into a darkened corner, not wanting either of them to see me while I watched them.

I am such a masochist.

After locking the front door the lady said something to him and he pinned her up against the wall, giving her the sexy look that I always thought was just for me before kissing her savagely. I took a shaky breath and tried to look away, not wanting to see anymore.

~*~*oOo~*~

Later, I found myself sitting at a booth inside of Applebees, torturing myself some more. They sat awfully close to each other and he was letting her feed him fries.

Why am I doing this? I thought idly as I slurped a little of my milkshake.

Because you have to talk to him.

I watched as he reached into his pocket, put a phone up to his ear, listened for a bit and after a few nods of his head he kissed his companion and left quickly. Walking right by me as if I didn't even exist. His scent, however, clung to me. I bit my lip and closed my eyes, enjoying the little bit of him that was left as I let the memories we had created wash over me.

I heard the bench across me creak and opened my eyes to see Jasper's companion settling in the booth across from me. She was beautiful, clearly Mexican in descent with large dark eyes, thick black hair and skin several shades darker than mine.

"Hi," I said, sounding as startled as I felt.

"Hi," she said with a kind smile. "What kind of shake did ya get?"

"Um... strawberry." I looked at her curiously.

"Good choice, but I prefer the vanilla," she laughed. "Sorry, I hate eating in places like this alone and well, I saw you were alone too. I'm Kayla," She reached her hand out for me to shake.

I took it, "Alice..." I said with a small smile. And she was nice. Damn N.B. for dating chicks I can't bring myself to hate.

"Nice to meet you. So what brings ya to Tennessee, Alice?"

I laughed a little and looked at my shake. Of course she could tell I wasn't from around here. "It's a long story..." I shook my bowed head.

"A boy?" she asked.

I nodded, "He left one day... didn't tell me why... I really needed him at the time, but I was too stubborn to come down here right away..." I swallowed hard, trying to clear the lump that had crept up my throat.

"That sucks... How long since he left?"

"Um... two years," I chewed my lip. I knew it had been a long time, but I never stopped loving him.

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, by the looks of it he hurt ya bad," She gave me a sad smile.

I nodded my head a little, I wasn't sure if I should tell her, but something inside me told me to give it a try. "It was Jasper," I stated, meeting her eyes.

"My Jasper?" she asked quietly.

That vice squeezed again on my heart when I heard her say 'my', I rubbed my chest absentmindedly and nodded my head, "The guy you were here with, yeah."

"Oh wow..." she breathed. "I had a feeling you were her, but I never thought..." She shook her head.

"What?" I asked, confused by pretty much everything she just said.

"When you said your name, I had a feeling you were his Alice," she gave me a small smile. "I've heard a lot about you and your brother."

"So he talks about us?" My voice cracked despite my best efforts. She nodded. "What does he say?" Glutton. For. Punishment.

"He talks about growing up with y'all. How your brother and his best friend were always up to no good and how his sister and you were really tight."

"Oh. So... nothing else?" I chewed my lip.

She looked down at the table and shook her head. "No... sorry," she said softly.

I nodded, feeling tired and sad. "It's not your fault..." I sighed. "I hope you're happy with him... and that you make him smile, okay?" I was being earnest, I meant what I said. I pulled a twenty out of my purse, all I had gotten was the shake so I was fairly certain it would be more than enough to cover it, and placed it on the table.

She looked up and nodded. "I know I don't have tell you this but, he's a really great guy. Looks out for people ya know?"

I nodded and chewed my lip, blinking back tears, "That was the problem I think..." I tried to force a smile.

"Yeah..." She reached in her pocket to look at her phone and sighed. "I gotta go... it was nice meeting you Alice."

"Nice to meet you too," I said as I walked out of the restaurant behind her.

It was time to go home, I didn't need to torture myself anymore, I already had the answers I needed.

~*~oOo~*~

Everyone flittered around Garrett and I, congratulating us and asking about wedding details, wanting to know the date, wanting to see the ring, wanting to know who was going to be involved. The entire time I wouldn't look at Jasper, I didn't want to see his face, I knew that if I did I might do something really stupid.

I saw Jasper move out of the corner of my eye, heading for Garrett. He shook his hand and congratulated him, before making his way to me.

"Congratulations Ali Cat..." He said softly.

I blinked back a tear, it was over, he was leaving, I could see it in his eyes. "Thanks Nerdy Boy," I whispered back.

He cupped my cheek, wiping the tear from under my eye with his thumb. "You deserve to be happy Ali..." He gave me a sad smile before kissing me on the cheek and turning to leave.

I rubbed the center of my chest, it was a habit I had picked up when he left, trying to ease the pain that grasped my heart as I watched him go. "Alice?" I turned to see Garrett's perfect smile and couldn't help but smile in return. "You okay?" he asked, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me close to his chest. He smelled like sandalwood, it was a nice, comforting smell, I nodded my head as he placed a kiss on the crown of my head. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you..." Just not as much as him.

~*~*~


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Chapter 14

Disclaimer: All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

~*~*~*~


APOV

I was having dinner with Garrett when Jasper called me. At first I tried to ignore the call, Rhett was already a little jealous of our 'friendship' and I was doing everything in my power to not stir up suspicion that we'd done anything since he came back. Because, well... let's face it, I'm a terrible liar. I finally answered when he called the fourth time, giving Garrett an apologetic smile as I answer the phone.

"This better be an emergency." I hissed.

"It's Rosie. She's screaming for you and Emmett passed out and... Fuck Alice, I don't know what to do!" He said in a rush.

"Oh." I gasped, looking over at Garrett, "Rosie's in labor and Em passed out."

Garrett gave me a rather tight lipped smile as he nodded his head. "Go on ahead then baby, I'll get a box to go for you."

"Thank you so much. I love you," I leaned over and kissed him before grabbing my purse and addressing Jasper. "Okay where are you guys at?"

"Northwest Hospital, off one-fifteenth... do you know where that is?" I could hear Rose saying something in the background.

"Yeah, I'll be there in a few," I told him as I clicked the phone shut. I got into my car and began to drive to the hospital quickly, half wondering if Rosalie really wanted me, or if my Nerdy Boy needed me. I knew two days ago that when I left the apartment it had to officially be over for us. I wanted him, I still loved him, but he was leaving and I had a sure thing with Garrett.

And I loved Garrett. They say that you never truly get over your first love and I think that’s what was going on here. And I think even though Nerdy Boy said he wasn't in love with his girlfriend, he must’ve been or else he wouldn't be running back to her. I don't really understand it all... I was so conflicted and my thoughts kept leading me every which way, it was all just a lot for me to take in.

There was only two things I knew; first, he got mad enough at my claims about him not caring about me that he fucked me against the wall. And second, he made love to me... something that only occasionally happened between us and usually left no question in my mind as to how he felt.

And as much as I hated to admit it, I couldn't stop thinking about the sex, the kissing, the way he touched me, the way he felt naked against me... it was all such a sensory overload and one that I enjoyed very much. I haven't orgasmed like that in years... five years to be exact.

The good thing about first loves, they know exactly what makes you tick. When I came down from my final orgasm I quite literally passed out. It felt so good to be around him again, like for the past five years I had been nothing but a shell and the minute he came back I was full again. Somehow mulling this over in my head made the trip easier and the next thing I knew I was on the elevator going up to the labor and delivery unit.

As soon as the doors opened and I stepped out my eyes locked with a pair of familiar gray ones and I walked over to him. "How's Rosie?"

"Scared," he said chewing his lip. "C'mon I'll take you to her."

I followed him, paying much more attention than was proper to the way the jeans he wore hugged his ass. It was insane how hot he got while he was down south. When we walked into the room, however, I forgot all about Jasper... and his ass. Rosalie looked terrified.

"Hey Rosie, what's going on?" I asked softly as I stood beside her and wiped the hair that stuck to her forehead away.

"It hurts," she said, wincing. "And fucking Emmett is no help," she growled out, glaring at the passed out figure of Emmett in the recliner.

"You want some painkillers?" I asked, looking over in the direction of the whiteboard the nurses wrote their names on.

"They can't do spinal cause she uh..." Jasper said clearing his throat.

"Cause they're evil!" Rose shouted in the direction of the door.

"They only use spinals for C-sections because it numbs you completely. They said they won't give you an epidural?" I turned and asked Rosie.

She shook her head. "No cause in my stupid birth plan I denied it if I was past a certain point."

I scoffed a little and shook my head at her, "Well then Rosie, you remember Lamaze?"

She nodded. "You really think that's gonna help?" she asked me.

"Just focus on breathing," I said in a encouraging voice.

She nodded and started to do her breathing exercises before gripping my hand. "It's too soon Ali... six more weeks," she said softly.

"I know honey," I rubbed a soothing circle into the back of her hand.

"It will all be okay, Ryan was early," I gave her a reassuring smile.

Her eyes darted over to Jasper before looking back at me, as if asking me if he knew. I nodded my head slightly, "But not everything." I whispered, smiling a little.

"Good..." Her smile matched mine.

Jasper cleared his throat again. "I'm gonna see if there's enough smelling salts to get his ass up," he said nodding in Emmett's direction before kissing Rose's forehead. "It'll be okay Sis." He looked at me and smiled nervously at me. "Thanks Ali Cat..." he said softly before leaving us.

I gave him a tight smile before turning my attention to Rosalie. "How are you feeling now?"

"A little better. Still hurts like a bitch, but I'm not as freaked out as I was now that your here." She studied me a moment before snickering and shaking her head. "I'm gonna kill him."

"Kill who?" I asked just as another contraction hit her, making her squeeze my hand so hard I was fairly sure she broke something. Once it subsided I asked her again.

"Jasper," she said, raising her eyebrow at me.

I felt my face flush, "Why?"

She shook her head. "I'm in labor not stupid. I know when my best friend has been fucked by my brother."

I tried to keep the grin off my face. "Well yeah, back in the day," I smiled at her, trying to hide what we did.

"Puh-lease," she breathed out. "I know that look on both of your faces. It's the same one ya'll used to get when you had just did something. You've got it now. I wouldn't have even noticed it unless I saw the look you both had."

"What look is that?" I asked, curious as to what she meant.

She leaned her head back on to the bed. "You know, the I want to look at him but I can't look. So you do everything except look him in the eyes cause you're afraid all will spill out?"

I shifted my gaze away from her and shrugged. I never realized I did that.

"Well whatever, I'm gonna kill him anyhow," she said, shifting in the bed. That was the last we spoke of it, Jasper came back with a nurse and I knew Rosalie was watching us which made me infinitely more aware of Nerdy Boy and what he was doing. The nurse woke Emmett up, and made him sit in the chair next to the bed, lest he have another "feinting moment".

The nurse he brought in informed us that Rose was dilated to ten and soon it would be time to push. Rose panicked, the fear of the pain and the baby being too early overriding every other feeling she had right at that moment. I hugged her and let her cry until they told her it was time to start pushing. I knew how she felt.

*~*~*October 22nd 2005*~*~*

Today was the worst day of my life. Well, the second worst, and yet it was one of the greatest. I gave birth to my son seven weeks early... he was four pounds seven ounces and seventeen inches of lung capacity and shrieks. They didn't expect that from him. They doubted he was going to be able to breathe on his own.

And then, I signed away my rights, I gave him to his parents... the people who wanted him so badly after years of not being able to have a child of their own.

I gave up my child. Mine and Jasper's child, I let the door shut as my final visitors of the night left before I broke down into hysterical sobs. The pain of Jasper leaving me ripping through me all over again. I had nothing of his left. He left and with him, he took everything... everything but the child he gave me. And now, he was gone too.

I don't understand why and I don't think I ever will, but I found myself doing the one thing I made everyone else swear that they wouldn't do. I was picking up the hospital phone, taking the piece of paper that had his number scrawled across it and punching the numbers in.

I needed to talk to the one person who could make this okay, I needed him to make me feel better. In my moment of weakness I needed him. I put the phone up to my ear and steadied myself as I listened to the faint ringing from the receiver.

"Hello?" His voice was rather gruff, like he'd just woke up. I inhaled a little and opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He cleared his throat, "Hello?" he asked again, sounding a little annoyed.

He's probably in bed with some girl he met down there, I thought as the tears that were threatening to escape, finally did and even though I was trying very hard not to, a sob finally came from my throat.

I could hear the springs of his bed squeak as he moved. "Alice?" he whispered as if unsure of it himself.

That very minute I could no longer breathe, the pain in my chest was too much to bear, I tried to say his name, it was strangled by my sobs though and finally just hung up the phone before I laid sideways on the bed and let my sadness wash over me.

Eventually my tears stopped flowing as much as they had been and I made my way to the shower stall, climbing in and sitting on the little bench before turning the water as hot as I could stand it. I leaned my head against the wall staring into nothingness as the hole in my chest seemed to ache and reach for something that wasn't there. I was empty, nothing, worthless and spent.

I gave myself to Jasper, did anything and everything he wanted and he tossed me away like a broken toy. That is what I was, broken and a toy to him. I always knew it, but I was somehow content in this simple fact until he left. And now, I was nothing, had nothing and felt nothing. I couldn't even cry anymore.

There was a knock on the door followed by Rose's voice. "Alice?"

Rosie, I tried to say her name but my throat felt like something was stuck in it so I groaned instead.

"I'm coming in," she warned before opening the door. I didn't even move myself. "Hey you," she said, closing the door behind her.

I looked over at her through hazy eyes. "He left," I croaked.

She looked at me with sad eyes. "I thought you wanted to give Ryan away?" she said softly.

"I did, he's gonna be much happier..." I closed my eyes and realized I was wrong about not being able to cry anymore. "He's gonna have a much better life than I can give him."

"Ali... That's not..." She put the lid down on the toilet before sitting. "I'm not gonna pretend to know what you're going through, but don't sell yourself short okay?"

I shook my head, "He's better off Rosalie...this isn't about him. I'm happy that he's going to have a good life."

"Jasper," she said simply.

I felt my heart lurch in my chest at the sound of his name and cried harder, "I'm sorry Rose."

She sighed before standing up and reaching to turn the water off. She stepped into the area and wrapped a towel around me. "Don't apologize, Alice. He was an asshole to you. I understand you being devastated."

I shook my head, "I knew all along Rosie," I whispered as I stood rather mechanically and walked over to the toilet, pushing the lid up before I sat.

Rose just shook her head and turned her back, giving me some privacy. I quickly dressed myself, pulling on comfortable clothes instead of the hospital issued gown and hobbled forward. "Do you miss him?" I asked her quietly, my voice horse and broken.

She shrugged. "Just ‘cause he's my brother, doesn't mean I knew him... hard to miss him ya know?"

"I miss him," I said quietly, but she may have had a point. I think out of everyone he knew me the best...and he hurt me the worst when he left.

"You two were always closer..." she said softly.

"Why Rosalie, I just wanna know why?" I asked her miserably as I climbed back into the hospital bed. I had asked her this many times, and the answer never changed.

"I don't know Alice," she said sadly as she lifted the blanket up to put it over my legs.

I looked at my lap and found myself growing silent yet again. In the past few months I spent with Rosalie I had spilled almost everything that had happened between her brother and me. She was my biggest ally during this whole scandal. We hid it from my parents, my brother, my best friend and even Emmett until about ten hours ago. Then when I went into labor and freaked out, all our planning went to hell.

Not that Rosalie was completely willing all the time; she thought I should tell everyone, she thought I should keep Ryan; she thought I should tell her brother. I could never tell him because I knew what he would do. Jasper may have left me, but he was still a good person, if he knew I was pregnant he would come back to make an honest woman of me. I did not want to trap him.

He had spent long enough humoring me, it was time I set him free to live his own life. Maybe someday I could talk to him and find out what went wrong, but today wasn't that day.

~*~oOo~*~

A shrill cry broke me from my memories. I smiled as they put the mewling baby under the warming lamps; she was crying... or squeaking rather, so it was a good sign. I looked at Rosalie and smiled, "Payton's gonna be just fine."

Rose matched my smile. "Good..." she said with a soft laugh.

"She's beautiful Rosie, I can already tell," I smirked a little and leaned down to her ear. "All I have to say is thank God she looks like you."

Rose beamed at that. "Thanks Ali."

"You want me to go get anyone?" I asked as I looked over at Emmett who was standing by the baby.

She chewed on her lip and nodded. "My brother please?"

I nodded my head and smiled slightly before leaving the room and walking towards the waiting area where Jasper sat, his hands fisting his hair. "Nerdy Boy are you alright?" I asked as I crouched next to him.

He slowly looked up as he cleared his throat. "Is she... are they okay?"

"They're gonna be just fine," I smiled at him. There was no way to know for sure, but I had a really good feeling about it all. "What's wrong?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I just pushed her too far... I should have just let her have her say and left it at that." He said scrubbing his face with his hands, pushing his glasses up. "And you’re totally showing me your panties Ali Cat," he mumbled behind his hands.

Ohmigawd. I stood up quickly. "I'm really sorry Jasper," I whispered, very embarrassed.

He lowered his hands and gave me a half smile. "Sorry about the fight with Rose, or for the show?"

I felt my face flush, "For the show, I know you didn't want to see that."

He looked down, "Right. Sorry for embarrassing you."

I shook my head, "You didn't embarrass me, I mean you've seen more of me under the guise of scientific experiment than I've seen of me. So really..." It's not my body. I finished in my head and then internally smacked myself.

He shook his head smiling slightly. "Yeah..."

"So do you wanna see your new baby niece?" I asked him, holding my hand out.

"Yeah," he said with a nod before standing up and taking my hand in his.


~*~*~
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