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JPOV:
After all the pictures, the receiving line and other formalities, everyone wandered off in various directions. I watched as Alice went to him. She looked so happy and downright beautiful, it made me feel sick.
Jealously makes you do silly things. That’s why I wandered over to the bar and ordered a black barrel on the rocks. I don’t typically do scotch but I needed to suppress the urge to inflict pain on Alice’s date.
I sat at the bar and watched as Bella and Edward made their rounds to their guests, laughing with and hugging people. I was genuinely happy for them, don’t get me wrong. In fact, the love and happiness that they had for one another just seemed to permeate the air, infecting everyone around them. Me included, at least until I looked in Alice’s direction.
I knew they would be starting the traditional dances as well as a surprise dance for the females of the bridal party shortly, but I was content to sit here and nurse my drink. I wasn’t afraid to dance with Alice, not in the slightest. In fact I was anxious to show her that I was more confident in my waltz skills then I was the last time we danced.
The thing that was scaring the shit out of me about dancing was Emmett’s hair brain schemed to make Bella laugh, shut his wife up and impress Alice. I still couldn’t believe Edward agreed to Emmett’s dumb idea but he did. Now, I just had to do my best not to screw up the moves.
I saw Emmett wave me over, signaling that Bella and Edward were getting ready for their first dance as the new Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. I walked over to him and Rose and was immediately pulled into a hug.
“Scotch huh?” Rose said, taking a whiff of my drink. “Alice scare you that much?” she teased.
“No just the crap Emmett is going to make me do, now that scares me.” I lamented. Rose raised an eyebrow and I just shook my head at her as I took a sip from the glass. The DJ did his speech and I watched as Edward escorted Bella to the dance floor that was put out for the reception. I had to give Alice credit for turning the meadow where Edward proposed into something out of a fairytale. The twinkling lights and candles gave the intimate party of thirty a romantic feel.
The mini orchestra started playing a song I recognized as Bella’s song. Edward, in one of his more head-over-heels-in-love moods, spent all day at his piano writing a song just for his love. Each of us guys had our own hobbies that we used to impress our girls. Edward’s was music and the song they were dancing to was proof of that. Emmett was excellent at working with wood and made Rose a very ornate jewelry box, which from what I’m told held her engagement ring. While I did photography, not as exciting as composing musical pieces or creating precious keepsakes, but at the time, documenting every second Alice and I were together seemed to be enough for her.
The final chords of the song came to an end, Edward taking advantage of it and dipping his bride before giving her a kiss. Rose and I both did a loud whistle as Emmett groaned. I had to laugh that even now, he still didn’t appreciate seeing his baby sister being physical with Edward.
The DJ called us out to the floor and instructed the girls to have a seat. Emmett and I joined Edward and stood waiting for the music to start.
“Don’t forget the hat trick!” Emmett hissed as he handed us our fedoras. I glared at him. I can’t believe he was worried about some dance hat trick when I was feeling like I was going to puke.
I looked back at the girls, who were now sitting two feet in front of us. Bella tilted her head at Edward, not sure what he was about to do while Rose laughed.
“Dude! You told Rose?!” I hissed at Emmett around Edward’s back. Emmett just shrugged.
“Focus Jazz!” Edward hissed. Ha! He was nervous too. I looked over at Alice who crossed her leg over her knee and raised an eyebrow. I can do this, I repeated in my head as I put the fedora on. I couldn’t help but smirk and wink at Alice when she bit into her bottom lip, blushing at my action.
The DJ made the announcement that the groom and his boys had a surprise for their special ladies, and it was the first time in five years I found myself blushing like I was in high school again. He started the song track and I tried my best to focus on what the choreographer Robyn had showed us, all the while keeping my eyes locked on Alice and praying I didn’t fuck up or look as nervous as I felt.
I could see that Rose was getting a kick out of watching Emmett move gracefully, something he apparently didn’t do at his own wedding, and saw Bella and Alice clapping along to the beat. But I knew Alice’s eyes were trained on my face.
Halfway through the song, with a flick of our wrists, our hats rolled down our arm to our hand then we fluidly placed them back onto our heads. By this time, everyone was clapping along and cheering as my confidence boosted.
But then it came to the part that freaked me out the most. The slide. Robyn had worked so hard to get us to slide with enough momentum that we would make our marks and not run into the girls, and when the time hit, the three of us slid onto our knees, coming to a complete stop mere inches from the girls.
People applauded as we pulled ourselves up. Edward gave us both a hug and laughed that we were able to pull it off before he walked off the dance floor with Bella. Emmett gave me a slap on the back, teasing me about how much of a girl I had been about having to do it.
“Well, I unlike you and Ed, only had five days to get that down.” I shot back laughing. Alice eyed me skeptically but didn’t say anything. When Rose asked her what she thought she smirked at me before laughing with Rose.
I guess that’s a good thing.
I started to head back to where the bridal party was supposed to sit, leaving the tux coat at my chair when the DJ announced that the wedding party was going to do their dance with the bride and groom. Sure I knew this was coming, but it didn’t make it any easier.
I met Alice in the center of the dance floor, where the rest were waiting, ready to start dancing. She gave me a tight smile before slipping her hand into mine and placing her other one on my shoulder. The band started playing a song that was very familiar to both Alice and I. It was played slower then I remembered but the memories linked to the song were still just as strong as I remembered.
This was awkward. She was looking down, while I tried to look anywhere but at her. Yet the electricity that always flowed between us was stronger than ever.
I wanted to talk to her, ask her how she’s been. Ask her about Ryan, so many different things but it was like my jaw was frozen shut. So instead I held her and danced, wishing that I could take back the last five years. Maybe if I did, this would be our wedding that we were dancing at.
Just before the song ended I spun her around like I used to do when we were younger, and was rewarded with a beautiful smile and her musical laugh. It pulled at my heart but made me feel that much better.
But as with all good things, that moment came to an end with the final notes of the song. Alice said a quick ‘thank you’, before going back to her date. I, in turn, went to my seat and quickly finished off the remainder of my drink.
I took my empty glass to the bar to get a refill and decided to stay there. My presence wasn’t required any longer. I watched as everyone took pictures together, laughed and danced. Never before had I felt more like the outcast as I did at this moment. Maybe it was the scotch that was making me feel this way, but either way, I was glad that I would be going back to Tennessee soon.
The scotch wasn't working fast enough, unfortunately, and rather than being the bigger man about things and walk away, I forced myself to watch as Alice danced with him. I watched as she laughed and smiled, holding him tight and looked happy.
I wanted her to be happy, but I wanted it to be with me.
*~*~*~**~*~*~*~January 20th, 2002*~*~*~*~*
The door closed with a soft click, but I didn’t let go of the knob. I pressed my forehead to the door as the warm tears that I was trying to fight back fell.
“Fucking moron,” I muttered silently, trying my hardest not to go back in there and tell her she’s wrong. Felix isn’t the one she should be with, it’s me.
I heard her painful sob and I gripped the knob harder, my heart willing my body to move but my brain screaming at me not to.
You’re distancing yourself to save her, I tried to reason with myself. But you’re hurting her more Jasper, a voice that sounded like my mom, retorted.
Either way Alice is going to get hurt. At least this way I can protect her still.
“I’m sorry Alice,” I whispered as I wiped the tears from my face.
“Oh Jasper, there you are.” I heard Edward say from the stairs. I turned my head slightly to look at him. He stopped about a foot from me.
“The movie's ready, Em’s down in the basement…” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “You two still fighting?”
I pushed myself from the door and shrugged. “It’s not really a fight,” I gave him a tight lipped smile. “It doesn’t matter any how, it’s over.”
Edward raised his eyebrow at me in question and I shook my head.
“I can’t give her what she wants, so I have to give up right? Listen I know I was going to stay here, but I think it would be best if I went home.”
Edward nodded. I knew he knew what I was thinking. It was just to hard to be here when Alice is so mad at me. All I want to do is hold her and tell her that I loved her, but I couldn’t.
“Well, no problem. We’ll get ya on the way. Take it easy.” Edward said, slapping me on the back as we headed down stairs.
Before I left I asked him to tell his mom bye for me and he smiled and assured me he would.
At least Emmett was able to make me laugh some as he went on about how I was going to miss the movie made about us.
Where he got the idea that we were ever gonna rob a casino in Vegas is beyond me.
When I got home, Rose was sitting on the couch painting her toenails some bright pink color. I tried to sneak past her but I should have known better.
“Aw, did you and Eddie-pie have a fight?” she teased.
I rolled my eyes. “For the last time Rose, I’m not gay. Neither is Edward.”
“Right and Em and I are still virgins.” She smirked up at me.
“Rose, even if, and that is a very big fucking if; Edward and I were gay, you are still in fact not a virgin.” I spat as I turned to head to my room. I could hear her laugh and yell out ‘touché’ as I slammed my door closed.
I flopped into my bed face first and screamed. It was bad enough that I was hurting Alice, but fuck did she really have to choose Felix? Last I heard, Alec and Demitri wanted to date her too.
I’m not going to lie, I was jealous of the prick. He gets to be with her and not worry about fucking up any of his friendships. Unlike him, if I were to hurt Alice in any way; I would not only lose her, but Edward, Emmett and Rose too.
Honestly if it was just me and her, I’d be happy. Happy to just run away and be with her, love her the way she wants me to, love her the way she deserves. But I couldn’t even promise that I could do that.
So much had changed since October it was almost frightening. I went from seeing Alice as a friend, the little sister of Edward, who was way too beautiful for her own good; to the Alice that I had a crush on and was on my way to falling in love with her.
That is never a good thing. I’ve only loved my mom and dad, and; let’s face it, I couldn’t even protect them. So how would I be able to protect Alice from what ever is trying to harm her?
*~*~*~*~*~*~January 26th 2002~*~*~
Alice and Felix have been seeing each other for five days, two hours and twelve minutes. Not like I was counting or anything.
Right and Edwin Herbert Land didn’t invent polarized filters for the camera, I spat at myself in my head.
I thought giving her the space she wanted was enough that maybe she would decide to talk to me. But as it stood, now she didn’t even look at me half the time.
I remember standing on the other side of the hall as I watched her at her locker last Friday. Normally I leave paper cranes and that’s it, but that day I left nine Hershey's Kisses and a note telling her that I loved her too. I waited with baited breath as she opened the locker. I saw the small smile on her face but then he came over, kissing her and taking her attention way from the hidden meaning of the lockers contents.
I watched as she explained something to him, and felt oddly smug when the look of annoyance flashed over her face before he laughed and proceeded to eat her candy.
I wondered if she realized that the nine kisses were for the nine years she’d been in my life.
I thought for sure that the note would make her come up to me. At the very least tell me to go fuck off because I had my chance and blew it, but she never did.
And like I said they’ve been together for five days, two hours and twenty five minutes.
I could hear her laugh as I stared down at the light table in our photography class. It was the only class that I had with her. I looked up to see Felix smirk at me before he started to kiss her, and that kiss was enough that even Rose and Emmett would find it disgusting. I clenched my fists on the table as I watched his hands grab her ass as she pushed him away.
She started walking to our table, wearing the white jeans I bought her for Christmas; making me wish I bought her the Linkin Park shirt instead. She gave me a nod before sitting down at the farthest end of the table.
When the bell rang for the end of class, I used the opportunity to give her the photo album I had put together for her. It took me a while to complete, but I wasn’t sleeping anyway so I might as well do something productive.
She bent over to put her book in her bag, so I slid the booklet in front of her. I looked over at her briefly and had to fight to keep the smile from creeping across my face as the remnants of our night together still lingered on her neck. I licked my lip then bit it before rising to my feet, I would normally wait and see her reaction, but after her not saying anything for the last week and the overwhelming need to make the mark on her neck more pronounced, I decided it was best to leave.
I looked back behind me to see her staring at the book. I couldn’t read her face and I think that was the most agonizing part.
Five days, three hours and five minutes...
*~*~*~*~*~*~January 28th, 2002~*~*~
He'd gone too far this time. It was one thing to brag about your girl in the locker room, but to do it in front of her older bother and his two best friends, that was just suicide. He didn't think Edward would do anything about it. Figured Alice would have Edward wrapped around her finger.
She does, I won't deny that. When it came to us, she could commit murder and we’d still do anything to save her ass. But this was different, Edward had to protect his baby sister from Felix.
I remember we were just gonna scare him. Emmett would use his size to intimidate him, Edward would give him a few death glares and spit warnings at him and that was all really.
Neither of us had counted on what he was going to say to me.
I don't remember much, I only remember him pushing past Edward and Emmett to get to me. "What's the matter, Whitlock? You too much of a pussy to get what you want?" he taunted me. "Too bad the tightest one in school is mine now and she's feels fantastic. "
That's when I swung at him and things went black. When I came to my senses Alice was standing near Rose, a look of terror on her face. Emmett had me pinned to the wall by my throat and his other hand was on Edward's arm. I had almost forgotten that Felix was the person we were supposed to scare.
What the fuck happened? I wondered as my eyes locked onto Alice's.
I'm sorry Ali...
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