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JPOV
I was just waiting for the moment where I wake up and realize everything was a dream. At least if what had happened less then four hours ago turned out to be a dream, I’d still have some chance of not being a complete dick and fucking Alice against the wall like I had.
Oh fuck who am I kidding, I would so do that again.
I just couldn't believe things went that far, but I needed to prove to her that I still wanted her.
Who would have though that after all these years, the passion we both had when we were together, was still there. Not only was it still there, but it seemed as if time had made it stronger. Or I could be over thinking things and that was just a standard reaction to her not being with anyone since me.
That was another thing that blew me away. She hadn't been with anyone since me. Was that even possible? I mean, fuck, she's a straight man's dream. Despite her height, she had long, toned legs, sexy curves, and her face... when she smiled, a true Ali Cat smile mind you, it shone brighter then the lighthouses on the bay. Not just her looks though, she was funny, caring, willing to try anything.
Hell most guys would kill for a chance just to be near her. Me included.
I got my chance tonight, that's for sure. I was telling her the truth when I told her I wanted her, but I also wanted to try and be friends. That's why I had gotten the Chinese. I hadn't had that since I left Forks, knowing it was her favorite.
I figured we could talk over dinner and maybe find a balance between old flames and old friends.
After convincing her to lay off the whiskey, we started talking about our lives. She told me about college, about living with Rose and Emmett, and about her job. I in turn, told her about the academy and working in the crime lab.
We both side-stepped the past and our present relationships, but it sat in the room like the giant proverbial elephant, looming over us.
I noticed once our food had time to settle that she was starting to get tired, she was curling up closer to me like she used to. I suggested that she take the bed, and I would just sleep on the couch. I should have known she would fight me on that, claiming the couch was too short for me. Even if it was true, I didn't see why she should have to use the couch. She even went as far as threatening to sleep on the couch with me if I continued to deny her request.
So I relented, telling her to go make herself comfortable in the bed while I cleaned up.
I would have laughed at the sight of her going through her bed time routine had things been different between us.
I leaned against the door frame and watched her. She took her time removing her jewelery and carefully set it on the bed side table. Then she finger combed her hair before messing it up again. I chuckled softly watching her, that was a part of the routine I never fully understood.
I thought that after all these years, maybe she'd change something in her habits, more specifically the pillow toss, as I dubbed it. She used to stack her pillows and one by one toss them to the side until she was comfortable, often times stealing mine because she threw one too many. Apparently she hadn't because I stood there and watched as one by one the pillows were tossed to the foot of the bed.
Finally, she settled into the bed and I made my way towards the other side. I removed my khakis before laying down next to her.
There's something strange about laying in bed with your ex. Your first instinct is to wrap your arms around them and pull them close. Then, if you’re a nuzzler, you find yourself wanting to kiss her neck before burying your face in her hair. You know exactly how she would react to it. You anticipate the moment she tangles her legs with yours, laces her fingers with your fingers and wait for the soft good night or love you that follows.
But things have changed. You're not that couple anymore. So you lay there awkwardly on your back, willing yourself to think about anything other than holding her, kissing her... touching her... She lies straight as a board on her side, no doubt wondering what your next move will be.
And that's where we were, stuck somewhere between wanting to do something and afraid to cross some imaginary line. She rolled onto her back and exhaled deeply, before holding out her hand as if asking me for something.
"What?" I asked quietly, looking at her hand.
"Your glasses."
"Oh..." I took them off and handed them to her. "I guess I forgot," I said sheepishly.
"It's okay," she said with a small smile. "I guess your girlfriend must not mind huh?"
I turned my head towards her and I could see her looking at me. "I typically wear contacts... I was just being lazy this morning."
"Oh." She shifted a little to place my glasses on the nightstand, "I still think you look hot with them on."
"Thanks. I still think I look like a nerd," I joked.
"Yeah, a nerd with a monster in his pants," she laughed and then froze, looking at me in horror when she realized what she’d said.
I laughed and gently touched her hand. "Don't be embarrassed. It's just me."
She laughed a little unsure, "I know, that's what makes it...hard."
I rolled over to look at her better. "Because of our past?"
She nodded, "And ‘cause... I still think about... it... us... stuff."
"I still think about it too," I admitted. "Like just now, before you mentioned my glasses, I was remembering the way I used to hold you before bed and the way you'd giggle and make yourself comfortable..."
"I meant what I said before Nerdy Boy..." She turned her head, her pale green eyes searching my face for something.
I studied her for a moment. She had said she was mine for the night, but just tonight. "Like I never left?" I asked softly.
"Yes," She nodded her head once, before her hands moved lower along her body, her fingers hooking under the hem of the shirt she was wearing.
I moved closer, leaning over her as I cupped her cheek. Slowly I brought my lips to hers, smiling as I saw her eyes flutter shut. I kissed her softly, nibbling on her bottom lip before tracing my tongue along it. She sighed allowing me entrance to her mouth.
As we kissed in a slow and passionate manner, I positioned myself over her better. My hand slid under her shirt, massaging its way to her breast. Once there I cupped and squeezed her, rubbing my thumb along her nipple as I kissed down her throat. She moaned and arched her back, pushing herself closer to me.
“I want to taste you,” I whispered in her ear as my other hand reached between us and I slipped a finger into her wetness.
She nodded in response as her hips bucked into my hand, pushing my finger deeper into her.
I took my time, slowly thrusting and curling my finger into her, adding my middle finger while my thumb rubbed gentle circles over her clit. The hand that was groping her, pulled her shirt up, exposing her chest to me and I teased her nipple with my tongue.
Her hands tugged at my hair, fighting on whether to bring me up to her mouth or to keep me where I was.
“Relax,” I said softly, before sucking her nipple into my mouth and nibbling on it as my fingers thrust deeper inside of her.
I could hear her whimper and I resisted the urge to smirk. She knew I was just working her up to the good stuff and she wanted it now.
I kissed my way down, her eyes locked on mine as I reached her stomach. I could see the slight panic on her face but as I kissed the marks left by our son, her eyes softened. With each kiss I left a silent apology for being an ass and leaving her when she needed me the most.
I removed my hand from her, making her mutter under her breath but gasp quickly as my tongue replaced the movements of my thumb, licking her clit in slow circles.
Even I’ll admit that I can be a bastard and tease the fuck out of her, which is what I did as I flicked my tongue over it and pulling away as she bucked into my face.
I repositioned her legs, sliding them over my shoulders as I pulled her closer to me, moving my tongue deep into her, tasting her and savoring the sweet moans of pleasure she emitted with each twist and curl of my tongue.
Soon I began working faster; feeling her clench as she held my head between her thighs, grinding herself into my face, desperate to get to her peak.
When she did cum, I savored her taste as she relished in my ministrations.
I slowly pulled away, kissing along her inner thigh before getting off the bed and pulling my boxer-briefs off. Reaching for my wallet, I pulled out a condom and watched as she bit her lip in anticipation.
After making sure we were safe, I returned to my position over her. I gently kissed her as my dick pressed against her entrance. Her hands worked their way between us and I had to pull away slightly.
I clicked my tongue at her as I grabbed her wrists in one hand. “Ali Cat… this is about you,” I chided her as I held her hands above her head.
"But..." she whined, pouting a little and wiggling her hips eagerly.
I chuckled as I nipped at her lips. "I promise you'll like it," I said in more of a sing song voice than anything.
"I want you to like it too!" she protested, trying to wiggle closer.
I smirked at her as I pushed in slowly, allowing only the head of my dick to enter before pulling out again. "You want that Ali?" I whispered in her ear before sucking on the lobe.
"Yes," she moaned, trying to wiggle out of my grasp. "Please don't tease me Jasper."
With that I pushed fully inside her, watching her as she pushed her head back and moaned. I moved my hips slowly, determined to have her fully enjoy this as I kissed along her collarbones, nipping at them but careful not to leave a mark.
We moved together in slow perfection, as if time never stopped for us over the years. I freed her wrist, the hand that was holding them clasping hers and my other hand cupped her face as I kissed her. Her fingers laced with mine as her other hand gripped my side.
Her leg moved up my side and I felt the heel of her foot dig into my ass as we kissed, pushing me deeper inside of her and making her moan against my lips.
I pulled out and backed away. “Turn around,” I told her when she looked at me confused. She bit into her lips as she pulled herself up, quickly tossing her shirt off, and turning onto her hands and knees.
I ran my hand down her spine stopping just above her ass, pulling my hand back and smacking her firmly. She moaned out pushing her backside closer to me.
I see she still likes to be spanked, I thought as I rubbed the pink spot on her ivory skin, before smacking her one more time on the other cheek. I watched as her head dropped forward onto her hands and she wiggled her ass at me. "I love it when you spank me N.B." she purred.
That went straight to my dick. "What else Alice?" I asked, spanking her again.
"When you hold me down," her voice was soft, but wanton. "And fuck me hard..."
I leaned over her, one hand sliding around her as my other fisted her hair, pulling on it to bring her ear closer to my lips. “Tell me how you want it Alice,” I demanded, my accent heavier with the desire I felt.
"Oh God, Jasper..." she panted, I could feel her heart racing in her chest. "Fuck me like you used to... please."
My hand slid down to her clit, where I teased her a bit, rolling it between my fingers before pinching it. "You want it rough baby?"
"Yes," she moaned loud and rolled her head back, resting it against my shoulder.
I let go of her hair, grabbing her hips roughly as I impaled her with my cock. I moved fast and hard, pushing myself deeper into her with each thrust. She was moaning loudly as the sounds of our bodies slapping against each other filled the room.
I saw her trying to put her head onto her hands. “Keep your head up Alice,” I said as I continued to pound into her from behind.
Again her head started to dip lower and I wasn’t having any of that. I pulled her back; her body flush with mine as I held her wrists against her abdomen with my hand.
“I want to hear you scream,” I told her as I scraped my teeth along her neck.
“Oh God…” she moaned, her head falling back against my shoulder.
I continued to move inside her, feeling her tighten around me as she got closer to her peak. Her gasps matched my pants in rhythm as I kissed along her neck and shoulder.
I loosened my grip on her hands and she brought them up to tangle her fingers in my hair as she brought her lips to mine, kissing me hungrily as her body started to shake from her orgasm. I came soon after her, kissing the side of her face, jaw and neck as I came down.
I brought her wrists to my lips, kissing each one before rubbing them. "You okay?" I asked her quietly, hoping I hadn't hurt her.
"I'm fantastic..." she breathed.
I smiled into her hair as I moved us and pulled out. "Want me to get you some water or something?"
"Yeah that'd be awesome..." She smiled wickedly at me, "Then do you wanna do it again?"
I laughed and pulled the condom off. "Hmm... round three sounds like fun," I grinned at her before kissing her. "I'll be right back."
"Okay," She smiled at me and settled into her pillows.
We wound up having rounds three, four and five before she actually fell asleep. I watched her as she slept. She had a small smile on her face, as if she knew something that no one else but her dreams would ever know.
I kissed the crown of her head before tucking the blankets in around us. I was pretty confident I'd be able to sleep now.
~*~*~* March 4th, 2001 *~*~*~
Today was Emmett's birthday and Edward decided that as his best friends, we needed to throw him a party to celebrate his eighteenth. I guess things went okay, we had food, music and Emmett was happy.
After the crowd cleared out, the usual bunch of us went down to the basement where we were subjected to Emmett's choices in movies. Ali Cat was smart and went to bed soon after the movie marathon started.
By the time Boondock Saints made an appearance it was my turn to leave. Emmett laughed and called me a pussy for not watching it, but I just didn't get the appeal.
I went up to the living room and sat on the couch looking out the floor to ceiling windows. It was well past midnight and everyone who wasn't in the basement was already sound asleep. Sleep... must be nice.
"Are you okay?"
I jumped at the sound of Ali Cat's voice and turned to look at her, but it was dark and I couldn't see shit without my glasses. "Yeah? Just star gazing?"
She came closer and I could see she was wearing some shorts and a tank top. It was a cold night too..."You're a bad liar Jasper... you're not wearing glasses."
I swear one of these days I'll stop sounding unsure of my answers.
I gave her a sad smile before looking away. "I guess I am. What are you doing up?"
"I was getting a glass of water, and... well, you look sad." I could hear her voice coming closer.
I felt my eyebrows furrow. "You must have the eye sight of a cat then..." I muttered shaking my head.
She laughed a little, "Okay I might've been looking for you."
She was looking for me? "Oh, well you found me." I gave her a thumbs up sign then laughed at my own stupidity.
I felt the couch shift a little as she sat down next to me, "So you wanna come hang out with me instead of hanging out here by yourself?"
"I don't know how much company I'll be..." I admitted softly.
I felt the cushions shift again and looked over to see that she had stood up, "I'd understand if you didn't want to hang out with your best friend's fourteen year old sister... it's pretty lame huh?" She looked away as she played with the hem of her tank.
"No, not lame," I said, standing up. "I'll hang out with you. At least until you fall asleep..." I trailed off giving her a small smile.
"We'll see who falls asleep first." She winked at me, bouncing a little on the balls of her feet as she led me towards the staircase. I grabbed my glasses from the coffee table as we walked past and put them on. Dear God in heaven, she's wearing those shorts...
When we got to her room, I closed the door behind me and took in the place. Pink and white were main colors of the room. She had pictures from magazines and of friends and family all over her walls. The over head light was off, but strands of twinkle lights were on, reflecting off the mirrors of her closet doors.
She sat down on her bed, scooting closer to the wall before patting the spot next to her. "What in God's name are you listening to?" I asked her as I sat down. It sounded like the pop music Rose plays when she’s trying to irritate me.
"Um," she fumbled around for a second with something on the other side of her before I heard the soothing cords of Incubus's Drive, drift through the speakers. "Nothing," she mumbled, looking down at the remote in her hands.
I chuckled and laid back on her pillow. "Look who’s the terrible liar now," I teased, pushing her knee.
She looked over at me, cast off from the lights making her eyes sparkle. "Okay, it was *NSync, but I know you hate them..."
"Hate is such a strong word... dislike yes, but this is your room," I took the remote out of her hands and skipped back to the song that was on previously, "Therefore, we listen to your music."
"No, I like your music too," She took the remote back and changed it again before sticking out her tongue at me.
I laughed and held my hands up in surrender. "Alright... alright you win. So what you doing up still?"
She shrugged, "I dunno… I wasn't tired, Emmett just has sucky taste in movies." She smiled at me.
"That he does," I agreed as I pushed my glasses up to rub my eyes. No sleep in two days was killing me.
"I'm sorry, did you wanna go to sleep?" she asked, tilting her head a little while she looked at me.
I gave her a small smile. "Unless you know the cure for nightmares, I don't think I'm gonna get much sleep."
"What do you have nightmares about?" she asked, scooting a little closer to me.
"My parents," I said softly.
"I'm sorry," Her voice was gentle and she seemed to hesitate for a moment before taking the hand closest to her. Her hand was really small compared to mine, so small in fact that when she laced her fingers with mine, my hand seemed to engulf hers.
"Your dad says it's normal..." I said, shrugging. "He said considering what I saw it's normal to relive it at times."
"It still sucks," She pulled my hand closer to her, resting it against her leg.
"Yeah it does," I agreed, moving closer to her so my head was on the pillow she would use. I looked up at her, watching her as she looked down at our joined hands.
"Do you think... Like, maybe, we could be... um... be friends?" She looked over at me hopeful.
I nodded. "I think we could definitely be friends Ali Cat."
She chewed her lip, "You think maybe... never mind." she shook her head.
"Maybe what?" I asked, tugging on her arm slightly.
"Like, we could be more than friends? Someday?" Her eyes seemed to be looking into my soul.
"Uh..." I started. I honestly didn't know what to say. I mean, sure I've thought about it. After all I've had a crush on her for over a year, but she was Edward's baby sister... "We'll see?" I offered, hoping my answer wouldn’t upset her.
"Okay," I could tell that it made her happy, her face seemed to glow with it. "Thank you by the way."
"For what?" I asked.
"For my birthday kiss," She looked at our joined hands again. "I've only ever kissed you."
"Oh! Yeah, no... don't thank me. I'm just sorry I was your first kiss. ‘Cause uh... you were mine too," I admitted feeling my neck and ears warm up.
"Why are you sorry? I thought it was perfect." She bit her bottom lip.
"Well, cause it was my first time... and yours and I mean, I'm sure I could have done something better," I shrugged.
She shook her head, I could see even in this low light that she was blushing. "No...uh...no."
I took the remote back from her and turned the music down even more before tugging for her to lay down with me. "You know you can tell me anything right?" I asked her.
She smiled and shook her head, settling in close. "You can tell me anything."
"Deal," I said with a smile.
"You remember that thing you did... in the closet?" she asked after a long quiet moment.
I nodded, remembering the way that I kissed her and touched her, the way she sounded when I did something she liked. "Yeah..." I said softly
"I liked it a lot," She pressed herself closer to me.
"You did huh?" I asked, gently running the back of my finger along the skin of her stomach her tank top exposed, just above her shorts.
"Yeah," She moved so her head was on the same pillow as me. "Did you like it?"
I nodded looking at her. "I did."
"You wanna tell me about your nightmares?" She looked at me and her face was so close to mine I would barely have to move to kiss her.
I shook my head, laughing as our noses rubbed together. "I don't want you to have them too," I explained.
"I'm sorry that you have them," She gave me a small smile. "Maybe if you sleep with me... I can help you?"
"You gonna try to protect me from the monster?" I asked, smiling slightly as I tucked her hair behind her ear.
"I'll try to protect you from your nightmares, what's the worst that could happen?"
"Neither one of us gets any sleep?" I shrugged.
"Exactly," She smiled brightly, "So uhhh.. how are we gonna sleep?"
Good question. "Uh... I don't know.. how do you normally sleep? Like me, I usually sleep on my back or side."
"I usually sleep on my side or my stomach."
"Okay... Well... let's try sleeping on our sides... and if that doesn't work I can sleep on the floor so you have the bed?" I offered.
"Okay!" She smiled brightly at me once again and turned so her back was towards me, then scooted back til we were touching. "Is that okay?"
"Yeah, you're fine," I told her as I pulled my glasses off and placed them on her nightstand. I moved closer to her, wrapping my arm around her waist. "Is that okay?" I asked softly.
"Yeah, it's nice," I could hear the happiness in her voice.
I smiled and kissed her shoulder. "Good night Ali Cat."
"Night my Nerdy Boy," she yawned out.
That was the first time in, I honestly don't know how long, I wasn't haunted with the dreams of my past. Who would have thought Ali Cat was right, she protected me from the monsters.
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