Chapter 24

APOV

The day Jasper left I got up early to see him off, we'd had an interesting night, that was for sure. I’d always known that Kelly was trying to be a new version of me, but I never really understood why, and now that I knew, I kind of felt bad for her. I knew what it was like to be in love with someone who was unattainable like Jasper, 'cause I had been there before. But at the same time, at least I felt really desired, maybe loved even because Jasper had really tried to get over me. He moved away trying to get me out of his head, the same thing I was trying to do, and he was just as unsuccessful as I was.

Even though it was probably the wrong thing to do, because he hadn't broken up with Kelly and I was supposed to be getting over Garrett, we made love. It was tender and warm and caring and just so many other things, it was all too much for me to process just yet.

I knew Jasper wanted to work things out with me, he wanted to try again with me, he still loved me. Do I let Jasper Whitlock, breaker of hearts and minds back into my life in that way? I looked around my room, the rumpled sheets and the smell of sex unmistakable. I guess I already had, without really realizing or acknowledging it, but I was in control of this time. Wasn't I?

I mean, it's not my fault that I couldn't control how my body reacted to him, but I could control how much power he had over me, right? I sighed and took another drink from my coffee. I still loved Jasper very much, and not having him in my life would hurt, a lot. Honestly, if Kelly somehow managed to get him to stay I would end up so brokenhearted I didn't exactly know what I would do.

It had been a few hours since I dropped him off at the airport and already a feeling of sadness and loneliness was beginning to set in. I put my cup in the sink and began cleaning my coffee pot when I heard my phone beep to let me know I received a text message.

I picked it up off the charging station and looked at the screen. It was from Jasper, I pressed the button to read it. Can I just turn around and forget my stuff in TN?

I smiled and pressed reply.

You'd break Em's heart if you didn’t get all those comic books.

Right, Comics. We just landed by the way.

I chuckled; glad you got there ok, do you miss me?

Yes, the sooner I do this, the sooner I get back right?

That made my heart flutter. Yeah, definitely. I miss you... and can still smell you.

I miss you too and I hope I smell good! I have to get a cab. Call you later?

Sure. I kissed the screen on my phone then added; I sent you a kiss too.

I expect more when I get back! Love you Ali Cat.

Love you 2. I smiled as I closed my phone. He didn't have to text, but he did. I chewed my lip as I considered what that could mean. Was he more serious this time? Would he freak out again if things got too serious?

I decided not to dwell on it too much and after calling Bella and Rosalie and telling them that we needed some girl time, I got ready for the day.

Mani’s-pedi’s and shopping, who could ask for more?

~*~oOo~*~

A few hours of walking around the Northgate Mall and we were beat. We found a nice little Greek food place to have lunch before our mani-pedis and everything was going well until Rosalie decided we should talk about more important things than Jimmy Choo and Dolche.

"Jazz gave you back the casserole dish, right?"

"Um..." had he? I thought about it for a moment. "Oh yeah, he did, I found it in the foyer after..." I stopped myself from saying anything else. I really didn't want to remember the shit Garrett said, or reveal how deep I was in with Jasper.

"After... what? You fucked him against another wall?" she joked.

I blanched, I hadn't told anyone about that, I glanced over at Bella who was reading the wine menu. "No, when Garrett and I broke up... and he told me he'd been doin' his assistant for three months because I was icy." I swallowed hard.

Bella gasped as Rose rolled her eyes. "No you're not. He was a sleaze ball anyway Ali... good riddance." Rose said with a shake of her head.

"Yeah..." I took a drink of my tea and studied Rosalie for a moment. "Who told you about the wall incident?" Incident, like it was a crime. Oh geez, Nerdy Boy rubbed off on me... in so many ways... God! Why am I such a perv?!

She laughed. "Who do you think?"

"Emmett? Of course, Nerdy Boy still tells him everything huh?" I sighed. "So what else did he tell Em?"

She shrugged. "You know the usual. He fucked up, doesn't know how to fix things. Still gets a hard on looking at your legs..."

Bella snorted at the last part. "So almost everything he tells Ed?" Rose nodded in response.

"Wait... what?" I asked, looking at Bella confused.

"I knew about him coming to Ed and asking what to do. Especially after your surprise engagement dinner. The legs thing," she shook her head and laughed, "he didn't tell Ed about that."

"Yeah, I would think not... Ed punched him once when were kids for looking at me in a bikini." I giggled a little, "So he really asked for their help to fix things?"

"Ed also tried to drown him," Rose added. "Yeah, he really did. Believe it or not Ali he still loves you."

"I know, he told me he still loves me..." I took a bite of my gyro. "But I mean who's to say that he won't do the same thing as before... when shit gets intense he bails. Or at least that’s the way it's always seemed to me."

Rose shrugged and picked at her salad.

"What if things are different now? Like, I remember he always seemed a little off. Emmett told me that Jasper was always afraid of the dark, afraid that it was because his parents loved him that they died..." Bella sighed. "What if he's finally realized there's nothing to be afraid of?"

I thought about it; he was a little unusual... but it didn’t matter, he had always been my Jasper, so I never put too much thought into it. "Maybe... I hope so," I sighed. "Does it sound stupid that I still want my fairytale happily ever after with him?"

"No," both Rose and Bella answered.

"If anyone deserves it I think you do," Rose said with a small smile.

"Thanks," I smiled back. "I keep thinkin' that maybe I should've stayed broken up with Garrett, you know?"

"Why's that?" Bella asked.

"Cause I wouldn't have had to go through all this, you know? I mean when Jasper sent me the letter..."

"I think this is just what you two needed. It gave my brother a good kick in the pants that's for sure."

"Wait, what letter?" Bella asked, ignoring Rose completely.

*~*~* February 14th 2008 *~*~*

It was my twenty-first birthday, and I was only kind of looking forward to going out that night. Bella, Ang, Rosie and the guys were determined to take me out and get me drunk for my birthday. I didn't really want to go either, not since Nerdy Boy left. I mean, he was the one who always seemed to make my birthdays special for me.

But I had a new boyfriend, Garrett, who was really sweet, and he was planning on going to this shin dig too so I figured why not? I had just moved into my gorgeous condo and was really proud of the fact I was buying something, and well, I guess I had lots to celebrate.

I went downstairs to check the mail, hoping for some birthday cards with cash. Childish yes, but it's still fun to get some spending money for simply being born. I turned the key and opened my mail cube to see a small package and a few cards waiting. I took them back upstairs before I looked to see who they were from.

Once I got upstairs I decided to open the package first. I picked it out of the pile and looked at the return address; who the fuck would send me something from Tennessee?

It couldn't be! I ripped the small box open to find a Polaroid picture confirming my suspicions; it was a photo of me and Nerdy Boy, cuddling, and from the date on the picture it was from two-thousand-and-two. The watch he got me was very cool; Ed Hardy, huh... looks like Nerdy Boy finally picked up a little fashion sense. I smiled at the watch and put it to the side before I picked up the letter, I was nervous, I had no idea what he would say to me after all this time. I reread the note at least a dozen times, it made me hopeful, depressed, nostalgic and sad all at the same time.

Why had he written this? Why had he made it seem like I was the one who cut him out and not the other way around? Why didn't he mention anything about the baby picture of Ryan I’d sent him?


I had so many questions and no way to get any answers.


I called Rosalie, there was no way I was going out after this. It rang a few times and she answered sounding breathless. "Hey Rosie?"


"Hey Ali, what's up?" she asked cheerfully.


"Um... I can't go out tonight," my voice cracked.


"What? Why? What's wrong?" she asked, slightly panicked.


"I got a letter from Jasper..." My voice was barely a whisper at this point. I was so close to completely breaking down.


"Whoa," she breathed. "Do you need me to come over? 'Cause I will."


"Yeah... please? I don't wanna be alone right now..."


"I'll be right there. Wanna talk to Em until I get there?" She asked and I could hear the sound of her grabbing her keys.


"No... I need to call Rhett... see you soon..." I said before I began sobbing.


"Alright, I'm on my way babe." I hung up and managed to gather enough courage to break it off with Garrett via text message. It's cold to do it that way, and definitely the pussy way to do things, but I couldn't talk and he deserved someone better than me, someone who was over their ex.

*~*oOo*~*

After my day with Rosie and Bella I went home exhausted and thrilled all at the same time. It felt good to talk about what was going on with my girls and we had fun shopping, well I had more fun than anyone else, and getting my nails done always worked to cheer me up a bit.

I hung up my all new clothes before getting dinner started. Dinner for one, I sighed, well, maybe soon it could be dinner for two.

I heard my phone begin ringing 'Hanging by a Moment,' and rushed to grab my phone. "Hey N.B.!" I chirped.

"Hi Ali... sorry I got you on speaker right now, just until I get the damn porcelain cleaned up." He sighed.

"Why? What happened?" Jasper wasn't normally a clumsy person.

"Well, I'm single again... and Nana's teapot is destroyed... Seriously she had to go for that?! She couldn't go for the expensive computer... fucking bitch."

"I take it she didn't take it well?" I sighed a little at his discomfort, wishing I could be there to cheer him up.

He chuckled. "Nope... actually no, she was okay with it until she saw the boxes with Forks printed on the mailing label. Then all hell broke loose."

"Why?" I was confused.

"I told her I was transferred..." he stopped for a minute as he banged something in the background. "Then she saw the boxes with the comics and asked if I was doing this for you."

"And?"

"I told her the truth. Yes and no. Yes, I'm going back because you're willing to give us another chance. And no, that wasn't the only reason. I told her that it made sense to be back in Washington. My family and friends are there. I have no one here," he chuckled darkly. "I'll give you two guess but you'll only need one to figure out how she took the last part."

"Really bad... So you told her? About us I mean."

"Yeah. I wasn't gonna lie to her Ali," he said softly with a sigh.

"What did she say?" I asked as I sat down.

"Does it matter?" he asked.

"You gonna start keepin’ things from me again?" I knew that was low, but I really wanted open, honest communication between us this time.

"No," his voice was closer now. "No. She was just saying shit that wasn't true. Said you were lying to me so you could get what you wanted. Stuff like that."

"Lying about what?" I asked with a laugh.

He sighed. "About how you felt."

"And what, in her opinion, is what I wanted?" I asked, arching my eyebrow. I seriously needed to get on a plane to cut a bitch.

He laughed. "Her unhappy, since you were jealous of what she had with me. I told her she was the one jealous of what you and I had but she told me I was blind to your ways."

I snorted, "Yeah, and that’s why I was out bleaching my hair and using spray on tan right?" I rolled my eyes. "Please tell me you told her to shove it up her ass and leave?"

He laughed. "She's gone, if that's what you wanted to know. I had to call a guy from work to come get her, but she's gone."

"Whoa, you had to call someone to force her to leave?" Girl really is a psycho!

"It's not as bad as it sounds Ali... It was more so I didn't hurt her. She was going for mom's things..."

"What gives her the right to do that to you?" I felt outraged.

"Because she couldn't touch our stuff, I left our box at Bella's," he sighed again. "I don't know. All I know is I'm getting the fuck out of here as soon as possible."

"I don't blame you... is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

He laughed a little. "Not unless you could just show up like now?"

"I wish... I miss you so much... and I am still walkin' funny," I said with a giggle.

"Damn girl... and to think I didn't even fuck you the way I used to," he teased. "I miss you too Ali."

"Oh God," I didn't mean to moan that. "The way you used to fuck me... I still touch myself when I think about it," I teased right back.

"You gonna show me that when I get back right?" His voice deepened when he asked that.

"If you want me to," I bit my lip to restrain the girly giggle.

"Fuck yes I want you to," he groaned. "Damn it Ali I have to pack not jerk off."

I let the giggle out, "Aww Nerdy Boy... I'm sorry. I'll stop, I can't wait 'til you come back and show that you really can make me walk funny."

He laughed. "Yes, I'll show you alright. Baby, I gotta go finish packing up," he said sadly.

"Call me when you take rest stops and stuff?" I asked hopeful.

"Of course. Get some sleep Ali Cat, one of us has to."

"I'll be thinkin' of you... Will you be okay?" I asked, worried about him not sleeping on his way home.

"Yeah, I'll be fine Ali. I'm gonna take my meds don't worry. I love you."

My heart skipped, I swear it did. "I love you... Be safe."

"Of course. Night Ali."

"Night," I said before closing my phone and hugging it to my chest. Maybe things really would change for the better this time.

~*~
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