~*~*~*~*
JPOV
I was completely consumed by guilt. Guilt over what I had done to Alice five years ago, the guilt of taking her as if she was mine again the other night, and most of all for what I had done to Rose.
Emmett warned me to keep my cool. Just let her have her peace and be done with it.
Honestly, I had every intention of doing just that. Until she accused me of ruining everything Alice had built, all the progress she had made, and for making things worse on her.
I should have listened to Emmett. Rose was just hormonal and doing what she did best. Standing up for Alice. I just pushed too far.
Rose says that it wasn't my fault Payton was early. But let's face it, if I didn't cause the undue stress, Payton would still happily be in her mother's womb right now. Not in the hospital. Not away from her mommy.
My niece was beautiful. She was tiny, but a fighter like her parents. You could she seemed to fill whatever Emmett and Rose thought they had missing in their relationship.
And tonight we were celebrating. What exactly? I don't even know. All I know is Edward called me, insisting that I shower and shave, then meet him and the rest of the gang at our favorite restaurant.
Of course he was here. Mr. Armani suit himself. Bella hissed in my ear to be nice as she went to sit with Edward. I was going to be a perfect gentleman damn it.
Naturally the only two chairs left for them to occupy once they got here, were the ones next to me. I mentally fist pumped when Alice took the seat directly to my right, leaving Gary -Damn Garrett - on the other side of her.
I smiled politely as she sat down, even gave him a handshake and was cordial. I could see the unspoken questions in Alice's eyes but now wasn't the time for explanations.
The conversations floated around, jumping from various topics, everyone talking at once.
It almost felt like old times.
Some time into the gathering, while everyone was involved in discussions, Alice took it upon herself to be flirty. Not in the sense that everyone at the table would know what she was doing. Oh no, Ali Cat was far too good for that. I felt something brush against my hand and glanced over to see Alice smiling coyly at me before turning back to Edward who was talking about some guy he busted. Her fingertips ran along my wrist to my palm, then down to the tips of my fingers before she moved her hand to just brush the back of my hand against the back of hers.
I smiled back at her, moving my hand so it laid flat, palm up, just as she repeated her actions. She shifted slightly in her seat, giving the appearance of crossing her legs, but moving her body closer to mine. Now instead of brushing her fingertips along my wrist, hand and fingers, she centered her attention on my palm; dragging slow circles into it with her nails.
She couldn't possibly mean that... I thought, knowing how when we were younger, that was code for 'alone time, now'.
Deciding that I was going to follow her silent instructions - more like my wishful thinking, probably - I decided to do something daring.
"Hey Garrett, do you mind if I steal your beautiful girlfriend for a dance? I promise to return her," I smiled politely.
"Uh..." Garrett looked at Alice who nodded like it was ok, "Sure..." he said finally looking up at me.
"Thanks buddy." I could hear Emmett and Edward snicker as I pushed back from the table and helped Alice from her seat.
She scoffed when we got onto the dance floor and wrapped her arms around my neck, "This song is pretty fitting, don'tcha think?"
I wrapped my arms around her waist and smiled. "You think so?" I asked.
She nodded, looking up at me as we danced, "Yeah, you don't?"
"No, I could see it," I agreed. Although I was certain her brothers wouldn't buy the just friends story if they knew what had happened.
She smiled a little and rested her head against my chest, swaying to the beat of the music.
"You really think everyone there thinks we'd be the perfect pair?" I asked after listening to the song as we moved.
"They used to," she murmured.
"Hey," I said gently to get her attention. She looked up at me her big jade colored eyes meeting mine. "You're happy right?"
"Is anyone ever truly happy? I thought when you grew up, your heart died?" she half-joked, giving me a sad smile.
I shook my head and smiled at her. "Nah, don't'cha know? Your heart goes dormant until the one you want is around. Then it feels like you've ingested a bunch of methamphetamines."
She blushed a little averting her eyes away.
"Hey," I laughed moving my face near hers so she couldn't look away. "Don't hide Ali Cat, it's just me."
"It's always you..." she mused with a sad smile.
I don't know what came over me, maybe it was hearing her say that or the look in her eyes, but I pressed my lips to hers. I expected her to push me away, after all her boyfriend was on the other side of the restaurant. But she didn't. Her hands slid off my shoulders, one fisting the fabric of my tie as the other held on to my bicep, holding me closer.
My tongue traced her bottom lip, making her sigh against my mouth, giving me access.
~*~*~*March 20th 2004~*~*~
She moaned against my lips and I pulled away slightly, "Fuck NB, harder, I'm so close..." she panted, her nails digging into my sides.
I grunted in response, lifting her leg high on my side as I pounded into her. "Fuck Alice..." I panted, moving my lips down her throat.
"Oh shit..." she repeated over and over again, her voice was so husky, I wanted to hear more of it, I nibbled on her neck, making her arch her back.
I reached down to where our bodies joined, rubbing her clit fast as I moved deeper into her. She gasped and brought her hand above her to place it on the wall and pushed herself closer to me.
"You like that don't you baby?"
"Oh my God," she moaned, her eyes rolling into the back of her head.
Just then I heard the door open. "Fuck," I said slightly panicked and in one movement grabbed the blanket to cover us and tried to hide Ali Cat with my body.
Emmett came walking in and sniffed the air, "Whoa it smells like sex in here!" He gave a deep booming laugh. "Holy crap Jay, who the fuck is that? Where the fuck is Ali baby?! Did you hurt her? Cause I swear to-"
"Emmett," I hissed. How the fuck do I explain this. "Alice is fine... trust me."
"Uh... hi Em," Ali Cat squeaked.
Emmett looked at us wide eyed, finally clueing in to what was going on. "Holy... uh..." His mouth opened and closed a few times like a fish on dry land. "Um. Imma wait out there," he hooked his thumb towards the door. "When you're uh... done... Jay... come out and talk to me...okay?" He left and shut the door behind him.
"I'll make this up to you," I whispered to Ali Cat, she nodded giving me a rather large pout.
Yep, best friend walking in on you ready to kick your ass, definite mood killer.
"Sorry," I kissed her quickly before getting off of her.
After making myself presentable, I went into the dorm hallway where Emmett stood waiting. "Don't give me that look," I warned him shaking my head.
"What look?" he asked, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall.
"That stupid ass look you get when you want to give me shit about something."
"I can't believe you were balls deep in Ali baby!" He kept his voice at an amused whisper.
"Fuck, I guess I can't call her Ali baby anymore huh?"
I rolled my eyes. "Why does that surprise you so much?" I hissed, keeping an eye out for any signs of Edward.
He shrugged, "I just never expected you to have enough balls to go for it."
I rubbed the back of my neck. "Yeah... uh... can you do me a favor and not tell anyone... including Rose or Edward?"
"Why?" he asked, looking confused.
"Because honestly... I don't want a repeat of what happened to Felix." Not saying that Edward is a violent person by nature. He would just do anything to protect his little sister, and lets face it, blood is thicker than water.
"I don't think he'd really hurt you dude, you're his boy...you know?" Emmett explained, still looking confused.
"Yeah, but Ali is his sister... I just don't want to hurt her and put her in a situation where she'd have to choose between us."
Emmett shrugged, "Okay I won't tell anyone, but I mean... you really think you two can keep it a secret forever?"
I shrugged. "We've managed to keep it under wraps this long. Then again, most people knock before walking through a closed door..." I teased punching him in the arm.
"Sorry, I thought at worst you two would be watching porn," Emmett snickered. "Apparently you've moved on from that."
I rolled my eyes at him. "What did you want anyway?"
"Rosalie wanted me to see if you two wanted to go out to dinner with us... but I can see you are otherwise..." he smirked, "occupied."
I shook my head and laughed. "I owe Ali Cat something... rain check?"
"For sure man," He gave a nod of his head. "Oh, and lock the door."
I laughed and nodded my head. "Will do," I said as I walked into the room. After I made sure to lock it, I turned to face Alice.
She was leaning against the headboard with the sheet tucked in around her. I walked to the foot of the bed, getting ready to continue our earlier activity when I noticed the smile on Ali Cat's face. I tilted my head to the side wondering what she was up to when she suddenly pulled the sheet down to flash me.
"How was your talk?" she asked, wiggling before she pulled the sheet back up.
I laughed and pulled the sheet away from her. "Might as well let me see all of you," I teased.
"And it was educational I suppose."
"Oh really? How so?" she asked, spreading her legs and smirking at me.
I crawled onto the bed, running my nose along her knee. She knew how distracted I got when it comes to her legs. "What was the question?" I asked, placing kisses along her inner thigh.
"How was it educational?" she asked, giggling.
"Apparently no one thought I had the balls to make a move on you," I smirked and nipped at her thigh.
"Mmmm, if only they knew," she giggled again, spreading her thighs a little wider.
I nodded, running my tongue along her skin. "Beautiful... tasty... thighs..." I looked up to see her biting her lip.
-----
The sound of someone clearing their throat snapped me back to reality. Alice gasped and jumped back, bumping into a very angry looking Garrett.
Shit, how long were we kissing?
"Are you two done... dancing?" he asked in a firm tone.
"I'm sorry Rhett," Alice whispered.
"Yeah... sorry man. Got lost in the moment I guess." I tried to give him an apologetic smile but judging from the way his jaw muscles flexed, it didn't work.
"Let's go eat dinner now..." Garrett spoke to only Alice, throwing the occasional glare in my direction. Alice nodded and walked with him, not even looking back at me over her shoulder.
I walked behind them, ignoring the amused looks from my best friends. A part of me felt like a scolded puppy, while another part of me felt oddly smug.
I just shook my head at myself. Of course I was smug... Somewhere deep down Alice still loved me. After they passed him, Edward held up his fist to congratulate me. I smirked and pounded his fist with mine before attempting to look remorseful again.
Of course, I could be wrong. If she still loved me, why would she choose him?
Because you're leaving again...
I took my seat between Alice and Esme. Esme doing her best to hide her amused smirk with her napkin. Once Alice sat down, she ignored me for a bit. Which was fine truthfully. I've done so much to hurt her that the last thing I wanted to do was ruin her chance at happiness.
Rose started talking about some of the crazy things we had done as kids, easing the tension at the table. I was grateful when she started talking about the time we turned the Cullen's staircase into our own little theme park, that she left out the bit of information about Ali Cat riding down on the mattress with me. It was during the talk about riding our bikes into the river when I felt Alice slide her hand into mine, our fingers intertwining.
I smiled and squeezed her hand slightly, enough to let her know that I would be here. I don't know when the decision came to my head, but in that moment, there was a inkling of hope that maybe, just maybe I could fix things and we could get back to us.
Garrett stood and smiled politely at everyone sitting at the table. "We have an announcement to make," he said, grabbing Alice's hand and pulling her up to stand next to him just as she let go of my hand.
I quickly glanced at Edward to see he looked just as confused as I felt. Rose just shrugged. The fuck?
"What are you doin’?" Alice asked in a whisper, Garrett simply smiled in response.
"We're gettin' married!" he announced and Alice flashed her pearly whites at everyone... everyone, but me.
I felt as if a vice grip had captured my heart and squeezed as hard as it possibly could without killing me. She was getting married... to him... I'm too late...
~*~*~
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