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APOV:
I was torn, very torn. Garrett was in Tokyo, playing the good fiancé, calling me every night to check in with me while I was trying to seduce my ex into staying.
There really is a spot in hell with my name on it.
I sighed as I put my groceries away, it had been a relatively easy day at work so I had gotten to go home early, but going home early also meant I had more time to think, and time to think for me right now was probably a bad thing.
Jasper, my Nerdy Boy – who grew into a really hot Forensic Investigator – was coming over for dinner tonight. Again. It was becoming a nightly occurrence. He'd come over and kiss me on the cheek, we'd eat and drink wine and then I'd make an ass of myself by trying to get him to sleep with me, only to have him actually sleep with me, in my bed, without doing anything.
Tonight I was making him steak. He used to really like them, hopefully he still did. I heard a knock at the door just as I putting the potatoes in the oven and rushed to answer it. It was Jasper who had a big smile and held a nice bottle of red wine.
"Hey NB." I grinned at him and received my peck on the cheek.
"Hi Ali Cat. How was work?" he asked as he followed me in.
"Slow, how was yours?"
"Surprising actually."
"Really? What happened?" I asked as I followed him through to the dining room.
"I got a job offer," He shrugged as if it was nothing.
I was confused, "A job offer?"
He nodded. "Apparently they need a certain kind of tech on graveyards and I happen to be a jack of all trades."
"Really?" I couldn't hide my excitement. "Are you gonna take it?"
He finally smiled and nodded his head. "Yes, I took it. I mean, the only reason why I was staying in Tennessee was because of my career and now, I don't have that excuse anymore."
"What about Kelly though?"
"I'm gonna end it with her. I'm not in love with her, or even happy..." he shrugged, "what's the point?"
"That's true," I nodded, if he breaks up with her... wait Alice, don't go down that road. That road leads to nothing but hurt. But he's not leaving this time! I argued with myself. "Um. I made you steak," I smiled, changing the subject.
"Yum," He smiled back. "Do you need help with anything?"
"No," I shook my head and smiled. I could always count on him to offer.
"Will you at least let me do the dishes this time?" he teased. "I feel like, I'm being ungrateful."
"Sure, you can do the dishes," I agreed, walking back into the kitchen to think about the things he had told me. Jasper was going to stay here, well, not here, here, but back in Washington. Holy crap.
*~*~* February 5th, 2005 *~*~*
I was packing my stuff, getting ready for another weekend with the love of my life. Oh Nerdy Boy... how I adore thee. I found myself smiling like an idiot as I perfected my makeup in the mirror. I heard the sound of a knock downstairs and was rather perplexed by it, my parents were out of town and the guys were at the apartment.
I ran downstairs and opened the door, expecting a salesperson, but that wasn't who it was.
"Hey... I was just getting ready to go over and see you." I told my Nerdy Boy, he looked sad about something.
"I came to say good bye Ali Cat," He looked down at his shoes. "I didn't want you to get there and expect to see me."
I looked at him confused, he's saying goodbye? "Where are you goin’?"
He shrugged. "Texas I think. I just need to get out of here."
"Can I go with you?" I asked, I didn't want to be left behind, I just wanted to be with him.
"Ali Cat... I'm not coming back," He looked up at me. "You've got Ed and your parents. I can't ask you to leave them behind."
"So you're just gonna leave me? After everything?" My voice cracked.
He sighed. "I don't want to Ali..."
"Then take me with you, I love you, I don't wanna live without you, they'll all understand I'm sure of it!" I pleaded, my eyes filling with tears.
"Baby don't cry," He pulled me to him, holding me close. "You really want to do this?"
"I just wanna be with you." I told him, looking up at him as I fisted his shirt in my hands.
He nodded. "Alright... but you have to listen to me okay? If I say no about something please don't fight it."
I sighed heavily, "Okay. Can I go get my stuff?"
He smiled slightly. "Yeah grab what you need."
"Okay," I jumped up and kissed him before running quickly back up the stairs. Grabbing my bags that I had already packed, plus a few extra items before writing a note to my parents explaining everything to them and running back down the stairs.
Nerdy Boy wasn't there. I tried to not think too much about it as I ran out the front door, breathing a sigh of relief when I saw him opening the hatch of the Santa Fe he drove. I turned around, shut and locked the front door before I walked over to him, all my luggage in hand.
"I was scared you left me," I admitted.
"Nah, just making room," He smiled taking my bags from me. "Don't you want your pillow? I think we might do some camping in the back of this thing... to save money."
"Oh yeah..." I turned and ran back into the house, taking the steps two at a time before I grabbed my pillow, my dance shoes and all the money from my piggy bank. I ran back downstairs and grabbed a loaf of bread and some other goodies before going out the front door again, making sure to lock up after myself. "How's this?" I asked, showing him the stuff I had piled into plastic grocery bags.
He laughed and shook his head. "Good thinking Ali Cat." He took the bag with food and put it next to a cooler. "If you want you can keep your pillow up front. Might need it along the way," He shrugged.
"Okay," I smiled happily and skipped over to the passenger side of the car, pushing my pillow into the seat next to me and buckling up as I waited for him to get into the car. "Where to first Nerdy Boy?"
He shook his head as he buckled in. "I don't know honestly..." He looked at me and smiled. "Where do you want to go?"
"Um... Yellowstone!" I giggled like mad and he smiled sweetly at me.
"Maps are in the glove box, captain." I saluted him and found the U.S. road-map, and happily began trying to pick out the best route. Nerdy Boy wasn't leaving without me, he was taking me with him, he wanted me with him. My heart soared.
~*~oOO~*~
That first night we stayed in a hotel, we ate McDonalds, played games, watched a movie, and fucked. It was amazing. I loved falling asleep with him, waking up with him and knowing it was just us and nothing else mattered.
The next day we made it to the eastern state line, and decided to camp, it seemed like fun. I watched from the small campfire Jasper made as he moved things to the front of the SUV and made a bed for us in the back. "What do you wanna eat tonight?" I asked, tilting my head a little as I watched his ass wiggle around in the back of the car.
"What do we got?" he asked looking over his shoulder at me.
"Um," I looked down from his ass to the cooler and bag of food at my feet. "We have stuff for soup... and chicken...we should make the chicken before it goes bad." I advised.
"Sounds good..." he backed up, put his hands on his hips looking inside the car. "This should be interesting..."
"What should?" I asked, grabbing the pan and putting the chicken inside before topping it with some BBQ sauce.
He closed the hatch before coming over towards me. "Sleeping in the car, I might need you to bust my knee caps," he joked.
"No way," I shook my head with a smile, "maybe you should just spoon me."
"Oh trust me baby, I was planning on it," He smiled at me as he sat down. "What kind of chicken are you making?"
"Barbeque... or tryin’ anyway... it's not quite the same without a grill, but I think it'll be good." I smiled at him. "Should we have some veggies to go with it?"
He nodded, "Might as well right?"
"Yeah... so what we havin'?" I asked, wiggling in my seat and pulling the coat around me more.
He looked in the bags, "We got corn and potatoes..."
"Corn!" I said happily.
He laughed and pulled the ears of corn out. "Here, get the stuff off that one, I'll get the foil ready."
I smiled at him and did as I was told, stroking the cob when I was done and making him laugh at me. "I got your cob ready, sir," I said with a wink.
He chuckled and wrapped it in the foil. "Didn't your mother tell you not to play with your food?" He teased as he got the other ear wrapped and placed them both in a different pot on the fire.
"Yeah, but then I play and gobble up your cock all the time so it must've confused me," I responded in the most innocent voice I could manage.
He laughed and shook his head. "You cold?" he asked, noticing my jacket.
"A little," I admitted. It was the beginning of February after all.
"Come here," he held his arms open for me and I happily crawled into his lap.
"Hey Jazz?"
He wrapped his arms around me. "Hmm?"
"Were you hoping I'd want to come with you?"
"Yeah," he said softly. "But I didn't want you to give up everything for me."
"You should know better than that... you are everything to me." I turned slightly and cupped his cheek with my hand.
He gave me a small smile, moving his head to kiss my palm. "But I'm no one Ali..."
"You're everything to me..." I said again, smiling at him.
"And you're the only thing that matters to me," he said softly before pressing his lips to mine. I deepened the kiss almost instantly. Tugging and fisting his hair with one hand while the other ran under his shirt and along his abs.
He groaned, pulling himself from me. "Ali Cat... save some for desert."
I giggled, "I love you, Nerdy Boy."
"Love you too, Ali Cat."
The next day I found myself at work, thinking once again about Jasper and Garrett. I loved Jasper, my whole heart belonged to him, I always knew this, I gave it to him when I was six years old and he never gave it back. But I promised myself to Garrett, I loved Garrett, in a completely different way than I loved Jasper but still.
Garrett was dependable, loyal, affectionate... crap I'm describing a dog.
Is that what Garrett deserved? To be treated like a dog?
Could I really give up Jasper? I mean, every part of my body longed for him; for his touch, for him to fill me, for his embrace.
I couldn't give up Jasper, but I also didn't fully trust him not to up and leave me again, not when I still didn't understand why he even left in the first place.
So what do I do? Give up the sure thing that my head is telling me to stay with, or go with my heart and possibly get burned again?
~*~*~
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